Summer, 2017

It feels weird to be writing a summer recap on the last day of July, but with the kids going back to school in 10 days I'm completely transitioning into fall mode!

It was a great summer. We hiked, swam in rivers and lakes, vacationed to the mountains, biked, grilled, paddle boarded, rode horses, fly fishes, enjoyed many a day at the pool/golf course/parks, and slowed down to enjoy family time in a new and more meaningful way.

This summer a lot of the stress from a year ago came to a head. For a year, I was in survival mode, and it took its toll on me. I lost way too much weight, I was in an unhealthy place both physically and emotionally, and I was hurting. This all came to a head in late may, and it became clear to me that some serious changes were in order.

It's frightening to look at your own life and realize the toll that stress is taking on you. The combination of moving far away from my loved ones and my youngest going off to full day school left me reeling. I felt like my life lacked purpose, I had too much time on my hands, but I was also trying to keep things happy and stable at home while Nate went through the most difficult year of his professional life. Like with most crisis in life ~ you get to the other side. Along the way you go through growing pains, personal examination, and uncertainty. Having given up things that no longer serve me, I can move along in a more positive direction.

This summer life has been about slowing down. I've learned to say "no" to a lot more things. I've learned that this precious time with our kids is passing by way too quickly. I've learned that therapy is amazing (something I've known since 19 but always forget until I need it again!). I've learned that we are here to love each other. I've learned that nature heals me.

Life is slower. I've taken the summer off of hard workouts in order to get my weight back up. I'm back to teaching. I have gotten off prescription medicine (for anxiety, I had been on it since my third was born) and stopped drinking alcohol. My meditation practice has become not just a luxury, but a necessity.

Life is short. Dealing with the death of one of my closest friends (to cancer), a terminal diagnosis of cancer in a family member, and some mini strokes for my Mom and man was it a perfect storm of a spring. I felt far away and helpless. I worried constantly that though our life out here was amazing, I had done both my children and my parents/siblings a disservice in uprooting my kids and hauling them across the country. I wanted to simply rest my head in my Mom's lap and have all of my worries lifted from me ~ but life doesn't work like that!  I had to push through, I had to suffer a little bit, I had to grow, so that I could come out the other side of all of this.