If you build it they will come.
I'm not sure why. I guess it's a bit like hosting a large party. You KNOW people are going to show up. It's still intimidating sending out the invitations. Perhaps because my kids were involved? Maybe because the food cupboard has become so precious to me? Maybe just because I don't like to fail? Maybe because you make yourself vulnerable any time you ask your friends and family for anything (and in my hierarchy of flaws, one in my major subset would be failure to ask for help. To me, asking for money would fall under this category, even if the money is not for me, but for the cupboard). I had been hemming and hawing, putting off sending the email (hierarchy of flaws, minor subset, dealing with emails). I finally forced myself to sit down and type up the email that the kids and I had worked on over the weekend. It's out. And…………….we have raised almost $3,000 in 24 hours! Well on our way towards our $5,000/#5,000 goal. Two other people who are having parties where in lieu of hostess gifts they ask people to bring food have asked if they can donate their food to our drive, so between those parties, continued donations, and the large food drive we are doing in two neighborhoods (pick up is on Boxing Day), I think that we can actually surpass our goal! (If you are one of the very few readers of this blog and you want to contribute in some small way you can donate here (http://westchesterfoodcupboard.org/financial-donation/) , click on "one time donation" and use paypal or a credit card. On the payment page there is a special tab where you can click "Make donation on behalf of" and if you would add "Mangan Kids" to that tab we can track your donation towards our goal AND send you a thank you card!
The kids are really excited and so am I. While this part is still a bit nebulous to them as it is happening on line, I can't wait to see them with the actual canned goods on the 26th, I think (no, I know) that seeing the physical side of their hard work will really be an amazing thing.
SO. Christmas is coming. With the continued mild weather that we are having it still feels a bit nebulous. The house feels festive, I think that this is our first year in our 12 years together where we have actually gotten it all right. The tree timer comes on at the right time, as do the outdoor lights. We actually (finally!) figured out candles in all of the windows, and they are on a timer as well. Only took us 12 years!
I know, I know, still learning how to adult at 40!
Last week was a long one as Nate was away all week, home for the weekend which was extra busy, then actually flew out on Sunday night, which rarely happenes. Luckily he met us out on Tuesday night and is home for an extended stint, which I'm grateful for. He is busy trying to hire a new person to be his "here" person once we move West and things are moving along. Our tickets to Disney showed up and I think that that means that this is real and I have to get on getting on this whole "fast pass" business and figuring out what rides are what and actually be an adult about planning the rest of this trip. Oh, Disney. I know I will love you when I am there you just seem to overwhelm me in this stage.
This week was fantastic, marked by unbelievable weather ~ I think we may have hit 70 degrees over the weekend which was record setting! We entertained Friday night and went out with friends to one of my favorite West Chester restaurants, Mercato on Saturday night. We dropped off the angel tree gifts for the three kids we adopted yesterday and Nate and I worked out together, something that we rarely get to do. We did 30 minutes of cardio and an upper body workout. Working out with a partner is really fun and something that I wish that I did more often. Jules had a birthday party and a basketball game (scoring for the first time as her team went on to their second victory putting them at 2-0) and the boys are at a wrestling meet today. I was sad to have missed it as this is Jakes first season wrestling and today was his first time actually competing. Teaching was great this morning ~ my Sunday morning class is by far my favorite group and I always look forward to that class the most. It's that time of year where I go to my favorite Jane Winther Om Mani Padme Hum 4 song for shavasana…..it seems so perfect for the holiday season. This afternoon I have a date with my favorite guy for a Villanova basketball game.
In materialistic news, did you see THIS photo which went viral this week? The christmas tree with what looked like a thousand presents under it? It gave me adgada just looking at it. I did my christmas shopping for the kids this week, in about 30 minutes on Amazon. We have had a tradition since the kids were born of giving each child 3 gifts. They also traditionally got one present to open on Christmas eve, which was always pajamas. This year, however, my Mom got them really cute pajamas on Thanksgiving, and in looking at their pajama drawer, I decided that they simply DON'T need more pajamas. So yesterday, when Julia was at her birthday party (At sweet and sassy, getting a makeover ~ don't even get me started on this subject) I walked across the street and spent a lovely hour in the bookstore picking out three books, one for each kid for their Christmas eve presents. A new tradition for this year. Anyway, back to the three presents. It's hard enough raising grateful kids in this world, looking at that woman's tree made me….well….disgusted. Is that judgmental? Yes. I can admit it. I just don't understand how you can live in this world, where so many are in need of so much, and with any kind of conscience participate in such gross consumption. Not only participate in it, but seemingly gloat about it. How does one even stay excited when opening so many presents? I'd be bored and grumpy halfway through opening that gigantic, disgusting pile! I just don't understand it. While we may be excessively stingy, to some, that, certainly is excessively gluttonous. We live in the suburbs. Our kids don't see actual *need* on a regular basis. This is why we try to involve them in giving as a regular thing.
I think that the Moonjar is one of the best things that we ever brought into our home. We started giving allowance over the summer, along with regular daily and weekly chores for the kids. As a reward for their consistent help around the house, the kids each get $6/week. $2 goes into each slot, save, spend and share. They also can earn money for any sort of job that they want to take on (cleaning the garage, yard work, or anything that they see that needs doing. They are in charge of negotiating their price and then doing the task to completion. They then can decide what category they put their "extra" money in). They are in charge of tracking their own savings accounts and we track their charitable contributions (this year all of their "share" money is going to the Food Cupboard as we as a family have made that our #1 cause). It is such a great way to teach them fiscal responsibility, and it has been fun to see them learn to negotiate, take initiative, and even learn to bargain shop on the months where we have gone to the store and bought food for the cupboard instead of making a cash donation. They also love watching their savings accounts grow month over month.
This may be the most rambly post I've ever written, partially because I wrote it in two different sittings, and partially because it's just a rambly time of year.
Bottom line:
Makeovers for little girls are horrible and had it not been a family party I would have probably said no. Do you have "Sweet and Sassy" near you? Has your daughter ever been invited to a "Makeover" party where little girls are covered in make up and glitter and invited to walk a runway? Julia luckily missed the runway part as she had to leave early for her basketball game. She looked funny being all fierce and adorable in the court in her tall bball socks and uniform with make up and glitter in her ponytail, thats for sure!
A thousand presents under a tree is troubling to me. How do you teach your kids about giving in a culture that promotes getting? The Angel Tree project is a good one. We participated in the one that the Y that I teach at was running, though they are held all over the place. We chose kids that were our kids ages and genders, and each of my kids was responsible for choosing the gifts for their respective children. They were given a budget and were told to pick 4 gifts. It was a good lesson in budgeting and they were excited to pick out items based on the limited information we were given about each child. I encouraged them to pick 3 fun things and one practical thing. They were then charged with wrapping the gifts and writing the gift tag. The boys all chose to say the presents were from "an Elf" and Julia said they were from "Santa". They delivered the gifts yesterday ~ the only thing that I did a bad job of preparing them for was in not understanding that they weren't delivering the gifts to the actual children, but to the Y. I think that they were disappointed that they didn't get to see the kids actually open the gifts that they had shopped for. I think that on Christmas morning they will be happy, however, thinking of those three kids specifically opening those gifts that they invested time and energy in.
We don't do it perfectly. I guess we just keep on trying to do our best to create grateful kids. Kids who think of others, kids who want to help other people. I'm always looking for new and more creative ways ~ like the Moonjar (have I mentioned how I love the moon jar?????) so if anyone has any systems or creative ideas for how they help their kids give back I would love to hear them!
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