Plan B

 The Star Lighting in Castle Rock. Looks like we have started a new annual tradition.

 The whole town was closed off, we met friends in late afternoon for some tacos and wandered the streets until it was time for the big show. The evening culminates with the lighting of the large star mounted on the top of Castle Rock.

 My girl and I out for a sunset walk. The kids have truly embraced Colorado, between mountain biking, hiking, and very soon, skiing. It's an amazing place to live.

 Solo hike in Roxborough Park. 

 First snow! The two days before it had been 78 outside!

We were supposed to get an inch, and ended up with 5. This weekend I was out walking in a tank and capris, and sweating. Life here is all about the sun. When the sun is out it's never very cold. The sun is pretty much out unless it is snowing. I love it.


Thanksgiving! Yikes this crept up fast. Today is my crazy day of packing us all up and getting all of the food that I need to make in Salida. I'm in charge of pies (apple and pumpkin), corn pudding, the oil and turkey fryer, corn pudding and roasted carrots. We had planned to ski on Thanksgiving morning at Mammoth but this unseasonably warm fall has us shut out, as they aren't opening yet.

I've been in a state of angst all weekend. I got a job offer on Friday from one of my previous bosses. I have stayed in close touch with him, taking him golfing and having his family over when he was in Denver recently. The job would be 100% working at home with minimal, but occasional travel. I could start in January as we have travel plans this week and then a ski trip around Christmas. I just don't know what to do. There is a part of me that feels excited when I think about the thrill of the chase and winning and closing large deals....and another part that pictures me sitting in one office in the house while Nate sits in another and me being abjectly miserable. After a lot of soul searching I've realized that a lot of my feelings are simply FEAR. How will this affect the kids (no more carefree summers filled with activities), how it will impact my friendships (so much less time), how it will affect team golf, and especially and mostly ~ What if I fail? When I left the workforce I knew I was successful and good at my job. What if I don't have that competitive edge anymore that served me so well before? I don't want to say "yes" and then fail. So cowardly, right?

I'm making a lot of calls to old colleagues and vendors that I used to do business with to see what the market is like, and what the pros and cons would be according to those active in the industry. Nate want's me to go back to yoga teaching, which is an option, but really more of a hobby than a career. The truth is, life is still busy with three young kids and he's working and traveling a lot. He's not sure that he can suddenly change to being the guy who also food shops, cleans bathrooms, prepares dinners, packs lunches etc. He simply works and travels too much to truly be an equal partner around the house. I respect him for being honest. I worry that my career would always take second fiddle, and my "jobs" as a Mom wouldn't change. I also feel silly, as I know that MILLIONS of women have careers and kids and make it all work, we could too. The question is, do we want to introduce stress to our household when right now things are running like a well oiled machine? That's what I can't figure out.

I'm officially back to the gym! I've pretty much stayed away from weights or kept it to 5 lbs/hand as my official "restriction" is not lifting anything heavier than 10 lbs. It feels so good to move my body again, and in a pain free way! I'm still not doing much jumping as it feels a little weird, so just focusing on enjoying movement in dance classes and knowing that in time I will be 100%.