Goal Setting.

I generally loathe "fitness" magazines like Shape or Self. Years ago I used to greedily gobble up the new issue and read about all of the wonderful exercises I could do, read recipes and meal plans I would never make, read about skin care regimes I never implemented, and saw a million pictures of models who I would never look like. I would read ever shifting and usually contradictory studies, month after month. The net result was a lot of trees, a lot of money, and a lot of time spent feeling like I could never keep it all straight.

I quit that habit many years ago. It was a waste of time. For a few years I replaced my habit with magazines like "Mothering", "Wondertime", or "Kiwi". Again, expensive products, perfect people, and ever changing and frequently contradictory advice. Quit that a couple of years ago. I have been blissfully magazine free, until about three months ago when I stumbled across a magazine called "Experience Life". I was spellbound by the first issue, and immediately subscribed. I can't recommend this magazine highly enough. Today I was reading my latest issue (in the jacuzzi, I'm an addict), and I came to an article entitled "Succeed: How We Can Reach Our Goals". The first two segments impacted me the most.

The first was "Set the Bar High". In short, thousands of studies have revealed that goals which spell out exactly what need to be accomplished, and set the bar high for acheivement, result in far superior performance than goals that are too vague or set the bar too low. The trick, they surmise, is to set goals that are specific, difficult, but not impossible. The advice? Write down your #1 goal and the first three steps you are going to take in the direction of that goal.

The second? "Acknowledge your obstacles". In weight loss studies, women who assumed that their goal would be easy lost an average of 24 lbs less than those who imagined themselves having a hard time resisting temptation. In summary, (and across the board, whether relating to job finding, surgery recovery, or health goals) "No matter who they are and what they are trying to do, we find that successful people not only have confidence that they will eventually succeed, but that they will have a tough time getting there". They go on to encourage people to write down the obstacles that they will face in achieving their goals. Their summation? "Effort, planning, persistence and good strategy are what it really takes to succeed".

I loved this. I have been a victim of setting vague, fragmented, and untenable goals in the past. One strength I have (also a weakness) is that while planning may not be a strong suit of mine, acknowledging obstacles is something I do with flair. Flair meaning sometimes I make myself an anxious mess in anticipation of change or challenge. Case in point? Parenthood. I used to lay around my silent, clean home, with my happy husband, at 9 months pregnant, and just start screaming like a newborn baby. I would look at my husband and say things like "WHAT IF THE BABY IS MEAN? WHAT IF IT IS A MEAN SUCKY COLICKY JERK BABY LIKE I WAS" (I was a hot mess of colic for four straight months, I still have a touch of it personality wise today). Will we still like one another? Will we fight? Will we be on the same page? Can we do this???? I ended up having the easiest baby on Earth, we didn't fight, we were and are on the same page (3 kids in), and all of my worry and armigaddon like scenarios were for naught. I do wonder if my anticipation of difficulty made the reality easier, however.

A more recent example was my husband taking on the challenge of this executive MBA program. I cried the entire way to the info session. I heard stats on couples divorcing during the course of the program. I envisioned never seeing my best friend for 21 straight months. I worried I would get depressed. I built it up into an Everest, when in fact it is just a Kilamanjaro. (It's hard, but not impossible).

Anyway. I found the article stimulating. My goal? A Marathon. My fears? Injury, negative self talk, and not committing to a training plan and/or letting my social life get in the way. My plan? In the works :). The first step of the plan is:

A. Stating my goal. I want to run and finish a sub 4 hour marathon this fall.

B. Creating accountability. This blog is that.

C. Creating a training plan

and

D. Sticking to it and not overdoing it in my zest to begin.

There. They are stated. And while yes that may be the easy part.....that is hard too. In admitting what I want to do, I have to acknowledge that I may fail at it. I've learned that failure is not the worst thing that can happen to someone, not trying IS. So, I'm trying. And if I fail, I feel sure I will learn. And if I succeed, I am sure I will feel a gigantic sense of accomplishment. So this is all an endeavor with no downside. Win win scenarios are my favorite. Cheers.