Why running?

These are the people who inspire me to run farther and run faster than I think that I can. I hope to teach them that our bodies are amazing, and that we can do anything on Earth that we set our mind to.

I suppose this needs some background. I've been an athlete my whole life, but am new to this running gig. I started in team sports at age 5, and played field hockey at the collegiate level. From swimming to soccer to tennis to golf to hockey, I love everything sports. Of course all of those sports demanded general fitness and some running, but I was never a runner for the sake or love of running. That changed about a year ago.

My third child was born in May of 2010, after a long, arduous and emotionally and physically exhausting birth. A planned homebirth turned hospital C-Section, his birth was initially one of the most demoralizing things that had ever happened to me. I felt that I was ripped off, that I came so close to having the birth of my dreams, to have it all fall apart despite my best efforts and not due to weakness or lack of preparation on my part. It took a few months to realize that beyond the initial wounding of my pride and the natural mourning that goes along with having a dream shattered, his birth was one of the best things that ever happened to me. First of all I got a miraculous, beautiful 9'2 son out of the whole deal. Secondly the 48 hours of labor was the most intensely bonding experience my husband and I have ever shared. 6 years and 3 kids into our marriage I can say that that shared experience opened up a level of trust and faith in my husband unlike anything I had ever even dared to imagine. Thirdly, with my emotional and physical healing came a realization: My body, my spirit, are much much stronger and more resiliant than I had dared to hope. A nice, fast, straightforward birth would have been lovely, but I got something even greater. I got to struggle, and to overcome. I got to endure. And with that struggle and pain came a faith in my body unlike anything I have ever known. I decided then and there that I was going to run the Broad St run, a nice, flat, 10 mile race, one year from Jakes birth, to celebrate him, and to celebrate healing and overcoming. I ran that race holding back heaving sobs of joy. I felt high. I felt like each mile was a gift, as though I could have run forever. I ran with my best friend for the first 6 miles at a steady 9 minute pace, and took off for the last 4, pushing myself hard. I thought of labor, of that pain, of that struggle, and running 4 7 minute miles felt easy, very easy, in comparison. In that race, I became a runner. I started training for that last March, so at this point I am 10 months into my running adventure. I follow no plan, I have no instructor, I just do what feels right and wing it. I have had a hard time getting outside to run, lately. I have three kids 4 and under and a husband who works and travels, AND is in a very intensive executive MBA program. I'm craving spring and a return of warmth and long well lit evenings to run in while my husband plays with the kids outside. I recently (like, 3 weeks ago) discovered that music could make the treadmill palatable to me, and have way upped my mileage since this all important discovery.

Today I ran a nice 6 at tempo with a sprint finish before undertaking an hour of HIIT complete with a ton of sprints, plyo and strength work. I've felt a little protein deficient this week, so I loaded it up with eggs scrambled with jalepenos for breakfast, and some steak and salmon for lunch. I'm thrilled that it is just tuesday and I have 15 miles under my belt (my mileage weeks are calculated from Monday to Monday).

Running has become my sanity. Being a Mom is damn hard work. It is amazing and rewarding....and also incredibly draining and frustrating and thankless at times. When I run I am selfish. I have a clear head, and no one making demands of me. My body feels like a machine, sliding into its familiar and comforting pace and rhythm. I find such peace in the steady pumping of my arms and legs, the singleminded focus of one simple action, repeated over and over. No where else in my life do I get that ~ My entire day exists of multitasking and simultaneously trying to anticipate and meet the needs of three little people. When I run, I am in charge. When I run, I am at peace.