Instructions for living.

“Instructions for living a life. 
Pay attention. 
Be astonished. 
Tell about it.” 
― Mary Oliver

I feel perpetually on the edge of my emotions, lately. Small things astonish me. Small things overwhelm me with gratitude. I don't know what it is. The kids? School? Getting through this hip thing? Discovering the depth and breadth of my friendships? Nates job working out better than we had hoped?  Feeling as though we just may live through this school thing with our marriage and family intact (9 months to go!!!!) Is it fear, a new sense of fragility after living through a crisis, or a newfound vulnerability....am I subconsciously waiting for another crisis to happen and trying to ward it off with gratitude or a strange sort of superstition or attempt to "be good"? I don't know. 

I do know that the tears come to me a lot lately ~ mostly the happy sort. (I've also been reading an undue and almost compulsive amount of sad books ~ which is a little obscene when I think about it ~ in the midst of an emotional spurt that does seem rather unnecessary?) Anyway.

PT is going well, though I am awed at the amount of time it takes. I got out of there after a full NINETY minutes today, and she still wanted me to do a full three more rounds of exercises! I was desperate to get into the pool, just for a bit, so I promised to do them at home tonight. Its a lot of work! I will say that I am really feeling my limp get better. My PT Adria, who is really fantastic) feels that my limp should be gone in 4-6 weeks of continued work. That would be rad. She feels that my original goal of 6 full months before even CONSIDERING any running is realistic ~ she says that my movement needs to be perfect before I would even have to consider running again. I concur, and honestly don't feel any urge to run at this point in time. I actually wince a little when I see people pounding away at the treadmill, right now. I know that will change.....in time. Nate is away all week, through Saturday afternoon, though I just got a little treat as my parents just asked if they could take the kids to the beach with them (the bigs) from Friday morning till Sunday night, so my boyfriend Jake and I will be freewheeling it friday and Saturday as we await Nates return. Tomorrow, yoga. Tonight, rest. I haven't hit my water goal, and I have yet to meditate (I had a 3 hour window of all three kids napping after wearing them out at the pool today, but was too busy devouring the rest of my book........I need to take a few days off before starting a new book if I am to accomplish my goals, I've been reading entirely too much of late!), so tonight I'm going to hydrate up and have some quiet time before bed. Its so cool out I'm going to turn the air off, open my bedroom windows, and let the cicadas be my background music. Namaste, all.