Yoga today. And storms.

We had lovely rain storms last night. We awoke to rain. It was one of those mornings where, for a moment, I remembered what it was like to wake up on a rainy day with no kids and no real plan. I could have laid in bed for a long time, today.

I had a beautiful yoga practice this morning. I love, and need Monday morning yoga, as my weekends tend to be full of late nights and various social obligations that throw off everything from my normal eating to drinking to sleeping routine. This weekend was even busier as I was solo with the three kids friday night, and Saturday afternoon we worked our asses off putting our house back together after getting new floors put in a few rooms. I was bone weary BEFORE we set out to go to a party.....and rolling home at 1:30 AM didn't help. Today, I ate well. I hydrated. I was in bed before 9 PM. My house is clean and back together, my yoga practice done, and I feel grateful to have another week to recover from these weekends.

Today marks 10 weeks from my surgery. 10 weeks! In a way that sounds like nothing, but then again its almost 1/4 of the YEAR already! I don't know exactly where in the storm we are. I think we are out of it. I think that we pulled through this. There are storm clouds on the horizon ~ Nate is a week away from starting his fourth module (out of 5) which is apparently the hardest of them all. He is insanely busy with year end. I don't see him much right now, and though we have it pretty well down to a science, I can tell you that it is incredibly stressful on me at times. I don't want to add to his stress by complaining or being resentful, but lets just say that I'm really really glad that this program is not even one month longer than it is, because I just think that at some point I really might just have a nervous breakdown. Or something. Hide under my bed for a day or two. Or explode and say a lot of things I would regret. I know that we are in this as a team, but I can't lie and say that it isn't terribly lonely for me at times, and that sometimes it is hard for me to keep my eyes on the prize as I shoulder yet ANOTHER week alone with my kids, or ANOTHER Friday night alone as all of my friends are out being happy, intact, together families. This is no small task, and I feel myself trying to fight back anxiety as I envision the coming long nights and stress that this module is going to bring to our family.

I'm going to swim tomorrow, and I'm aiming to swim a full two miles. I haven't had the luxury of much time in the pool lately due to PT and various other obligations, and I have it tomorrow, and I'd like to take advantage of it. My surgery is in just two weeks, and that will mean no exercising for at least two weeks, and then very limited (bike, elliptical, etc) exercise for a full 6 weeks. So,  I guess I'm trying to get it in while I can. My head feels cluttered with a million small things ~ good things ~ just the incredible amount of meetings and events that come with two kids going back to school, as well as the projects that we have going on around the house. I badly need to just zone out and hear those delightful, soothing bubbles.

Tomorrow, pool. Tonight, sweet sleep. Namaste, friends.