Seven.

 My first baby turns seven today. Bigs stole my heart long before he was born.

The above pictures are from the very first time he touched the sand and ocean, in Cape May, in 2007.

He was supposed to be touching that same ocean today, in Naples, FL, as we celebrated his birthday.......but instead he's soundly sleeping while a wicked storm rages around him. Our flight was cancelled last night, there are no flights at all tomorrow, the earliest is something saturday afternoon flying through Chicago (to FLORIDA)....and we have to come home Monday night as Nate has to travel Tuesday. This means no trip. No family vacation. No ocean.

I had spent yesterday packing all of us up in this hope that the forecast gave a hint of a break in the storm where it was going to be turning to rain in Philadelphia and it looked like we might get out on our early morning flight....so have my suitcase, one suitcase for the kids, and all three of the kids back packs ready to go....only there is no where to go. When I first heard this forecast on Monday morning I called Nate and told him we should start looking into flights flying out Wednesday. There was nothing. Nothing. With it being Presidents Day weekend it was just booked up solid, Chairman status or not. We tried flying out of newark, JFK, BMI, Allentown, hell we even tried PITTSBURGH. Nothing. Last night we even tried to just take everybody to Jamaica, Scottsdale, or Puerto Rico. Again, nothing.

When US Air called him yesterday at around 5 I cried. The kids were all downstairs playing happily and I just cried. Not because I was so terribly disappointed ~ I've been to florida a hundred times.....but because they had been so excited about this trip. They needed some true down time with their Dad and I ~ he has been traveling so so much lately (and then I've been at yoga so many weekends) and they miss him. They miss just being able to all be together with little on the agenda but fun. I came down and told them and Julia started sobbing. I think that the tears actually sprang straight out from her eyes, not even bothering to roll down her cheeks, just shooting out. It broke my heart.  Looking outside now I know exactly why they cancelled the flight ~ this is a nasty storm, the snow is just dumping down, the wind is howling, and  I'm just waiting for the power to go out. It is better to be home, warm, and safe, than on the road trying to get to the airport, or stuck AT the airport, or stuck in a hotel near the airport not able to get home through the foot plus of snow we are anticipating. We are together.

It was just a teary sort of night all around, because birthdays do that to me. Those were the good kind of tears though ~ tucking Luke into bed and telling him all about how his Dad and I went to bed that night and woke up at 3 am to my water breaking. Telling him all about his birth and the funny moments surrounding it. Telling him how I felt holding him that first time. Telling him how amazing it was to meet him. Telling him about the storm that was happening outside the hospital the whole day I labored working hard to bring him into the world. He loves his story. I love his story. Its amazing how birth stories are something that are etched not just into your mind but into your soul. They become a part of you and a part of your child and they link you together just like that umbilical cord used to do. They are beautiful, even the births that didn't go picture perfect.

I've been getting a little broody these past few months, and I don't know why. I mean, I don't really want to have another baby, I don't think. We have given allll of our baby stuff away to friends, including clothing. But sometimes I wonder if there isn't just one more face that is supposed to sit around our table. Is that something that people always wonder? Or is it true that "you know for sure" when you are done? What if you "knew" and then you didn't know anymore? That happens, right? Or if you knew you wanted four and then you knew you wanted three and then you thought maybe four was right after all?

Oh, birthdays.

Think good power stay on thoughts for us and out poor weary weather beaten county (hell, seaboard, this storm is massive).