Being flexible. And STUFF.
Its pre dawn on Wendesday and I'm sitting in front of the fire writing by light of the little Christmas tree we have in our family room. Yesterday was a long day.
I was up overnight as Jake was up with his ear hurting. Seems skiing over the weekend turned last weeks little bout with croup into a legit cough, which meant.... first ear infection of the winter. At least my kids are predictable. If he follows the pattern set my the bigs, he ought to be outgrowing them really soon, which would be wonderful. Anyway. I couldn't get back to sleep, which meant that I went straight to my book (We are Water by Wally Lamb, devoured it. Disturbing, so be warned), so started off the day tired. I went to my usual 75 minute power vinyasa flow class, then got in 45 minutes of "Stationary Yoga"....which just means Bikram but not in a heated room and the gym hasn't paid the licensing fee to be a "Bikram" studio. Isn't all of this "ownership" of yoga ridiculous? Anyway, I'm really not a huge Bikram fan but I had to be there anyway as Jake had soccer so I went as its all listening and learning at this point.
By the time I got him fed, laid down with him for about 30 minutes (had to finish the book!!!) then came downstairs to straighten up, look online for some information for my class that I'm planning, it was already time to wake him up for the doctors appointment. Got home from there and had to make dinner for everyone as the bigs had a 5:15 basketball game. Went to the game, and by the time we got home ~ from the frigid cold temps in the single degrees ~ and fed, it was time for showers and bed. I had about 4 loads of clean laundry that I had to fold, with more coming behind it, my christmas tree is still up, my kitchen cabinets covered with christmas cards..... I just felt overwhelmed. My intention was to practice/work on my hour class after getting the kids to bed (meanwhile stressing about the birthday gift I need for my niece, brother, sister, mother in law, and brother in law, all by this Sunday. Oh, and Thank You cards. A million. Mind was racing). My Mom stopped by unexpectedly to drop off some cookies that she had made for the kids at 7, right as we were headed up to shower together and read....and I just started crying. What is it about Mom's? Why is it always okay to cry to Mom?
Anyway. My Mom ended up staying for 25 minutes, I let the kids watch one show while I quickly showered Jake, showered myself, and she helped me tackle some of the laundry. "Yes, yes you can help" was so not what I normally say. Why is it so hard to accept help when it is offered?
I think that a lot of the problem has been that Nate hasn't travelled in a few weeks. Isn't that so backward? I'm MORE disorganized that usual because Nate has been home? Its this bizarre but true twist. I get more done and do it more efficiently when he is traveling. Dinners are simpler, I put something away during the day and it stays away, I go to bed earlier, the television never comes on, it's just different. I need both. I need him here most of the time, and I need him away some of the time (I would not say that if he worked in an office and dealt with a commute 5 days a week, its different when your husband works from home and you don't have a job). Anyway. After the wonderful holidays where he took a lot of time off, January is going to be a big month of travel. The kids and I are ready for it and have our little hibernation schedule all set up.
We talked this weekend about Aparigraha. I'm in no way a hoarder. I practically take things off of my children and directly give them away. I don't have a lot of expensive clothing or make up or collect things. That said, I see how the simple act of accruing THINGS is exhausting. Looking at the Christmas decorations, the cards, the lights, the things, the laundry, ALLLL of those clothes, was simply overwhelming, exhausting, daunting. Its reality, of course. My kids need clothing, I need clothing. Its all of 7 degrees out, so of course they are cycling through clothing more right now than in the summer. But STUFF, and taking care of STUFF, and food shopping for the STUFF and putting the STUFF in your car then bringing the STUFF in the house, then putting the STUFF away, then cooking the STUFF then cleaning up the STUFF, packing up the STUFF every day for the kids lunches......its so easy for STUFF to just weigh you down, even when its simply necessary stuff. No wonder all of the gurus and monks and people who had the time to sit around and do yoga and think and write and be all pure and holy were childless MEN! Even Jesus and his 12 disciples, Allah, all of them ~ MEN without KIDS. I'm beginning to think either childbirth grants one immediate enlightenment, or else women simply aren't allowed to have it until like menopause or something. Or till we are old crones sitting around our nursing homes and the men are long gone. Jeez.
The continued desire to streamline, to simplify, to organize, drives me. This is going to be a good month for it.
Anyway. Last night as I was reading (We are on James and the Giant Peach ~ love rereading these childhood favorites) Luke reminded everyone that it was "Julia's turn for a sleepover". Sometimes when Nate is away I let one of the kids have a sleepover with me. As it had been a few weeks I can't imagine how he remembered, but my first reaction was "No. I'm too tired, I need a night to myself'. Predictably ~ tears. And as I looked at her precious little face I realized that though I had planned to practice my yoga, the fire was already on and my mat out.....I was exhausted. I was wrung out. And all I truly wanted to do was to climb into bed with my sweet daughter at 7:45 and go to bed. So thats exactly what I did. Having a plan is good. Being able to have the ability to deviate from the plan (not easy for me) and listen to your body? Even better. I awoke early this morning refreshed and grateful, and think that I will have a better time teaching this morning for honoring myself instead of pushing myself.
The sun has just crept up over the field behind me. We get the most beautiful sunrises. Here is a little sunrise tree for you, a reminder toyou me to try to be flexible today. Every day.
I was up overnight as Jake was up with his ear hurting. Seems skiing over the weekend turned last weeks little bout with croup into a legit cough, which meant.... first ear infection of the winter. At least my kids are predictable. If he follows the pattern set my the bigs, he ought to be outgrowing them really soon, which would be wonderful. Anyway. I couldn't get back to sleep, which meant that I went straight to my book (We are Water by Wally Lamb, devoured it. Disturbing, so be warned), so started off the day tired. I went to my usual 75 minute power vinyasa flow class, then got in 45 minutes of "Stationary Yoga"....which just means Bikram but not in a heated room and the gym hasn't paid the licensing fee to be a "Bikram" studio. Isn't all of this "ownership" of yoga ridiculous? Anyway, I'm really not a huge Bikram fan but I had to be there anyway as Jake had soccer so I went as its all listening and learning at this point.
By the time I got him fed, laid down with him for about 30 minutes (had to finish the book!!!) then came downstairs to straighten up, look online for some information for my class that I'm planning, it was already time to wake him up for the doctors appointment. Got home from there and had to make dinner for everyone as the bigs had a 5:15 basketball game. Went to the game, and by the time we got home ~ from the frigid cold temps in the single degrees ~ and fed, it was time for showers and bed. I had about 4 loads of clean laundry that I had to fold, with more coming behind it, my christmas tree is still up, my kitchen cabinets covered with christmas cards..... I just felt overwhelmed. My intention was to practice/work on my hour class after getting the kids to bed (meanwhile stressing about the birthday gift I need for my niece, brother, sister, mother in law, and brother in law, all by this Sunday. Oh, and Thank You cards. A million. Mind was racing). My Mom stopped by unexpectedly to drop off some cookies that she had made for the kids at 7, right as we were headed up to shower together and read....and I just started crying. What is it about Mom's? Why is it always okay to cry to Mom?
Anyway. My Mom ended up staying for 25 minutes, I let the kids watch one show while I quickly showered Jake, showered myself, and she helped me tackle some of the laundry. "Yes, yes you can help" was so not what I normally say. Why is it so hard to accept help when it is offered?
I think that a lot of the problem has been that Nate hasn't travelled in a few weeks. Isn't that so backward? I'm MORE disorganized that usual because Nate has been home? Its this bizarre but true twist. I get more done and do it more efficiently when he is traveling. Dinners are simpler, I put something away during the day and it stays away, I go to bed earlier, the television never comes on, it's just different. I need both. I need him here most of the time, and I need him away some of the time (I would not say that if he worked in an office and dealt with a commute 5 days a week, its different when your husband works from home and you don't have a job). Anyway. After the wonderful holidays where he took a lot of time off, January is going to be a big month of travel. The kids and I are ready for it and have our little hibernation schedule all set up.
We talked this weekend about Aparigraha. I'm in no way a hoarder. I practically take things off of my children and directly give them away. I don't have a lot of expensive clothing or make up or collect things. That said, I see how the simple act of accruing THINGS is exhausting. Looking at the Christmas decorations, the cards, the lights, the things, the laundry, ALLLL of those clothes, was simply overwhelming, exhausting, daunting. Its reality, of course. My kids need clothing, I need clothing. Its all of 7 degrees out, so of course they are cycling through clothing more right now than in the summer. But STUFF, and taking care of STUFF, and food shopping for the STUFF and putting the STUFF in your car then bringing the STUFF in the house, then putting the STUFF away, then cooking the STUFF then cleaning up the STUFF, packing up the STUFF every day for the kids lunches......its so easy for STUFF to just weigh you down, even when its simply necessary stuff. No wonder all of the gurus and monks and people who had the time to sit around and do yoga and think and write and be all pure and holy were childless MEN! Even Jesus and his 12 disciples, Allah, all of them ~ MEN without KIDS. I'm beginning to think either childbirth grants one immediate enlightenment, or else women simply aren't allowed to have it until like menopause or something. Or till we are old crones sitting around our nursing homes and the men are long gone. Jeez.
The continued desire to streamline, to simplify, to organize, drives me. This is going to be a good month for it.
Anyway. Last night as I was reading (We are on James and the Giant Peach ~ love rereading these childhood favorites) Luke reminded everyone that it was "Julia's turn for a sleepover". Sometimes when Nate is away I let one of the kids have a sleepover with me. As it had been a few weeks I can't imagine how he remembered, but my first reaction was "No. I'm too tired, I need a night to myself'. Predictably ~ tears. And as I looked at her precious little face I realized that though I had planned to practice my yoga, the fire was already on and my mat out.....I was exhausted. I was wrung out. And all I truly wanted to do was to climb into bed with my sweet daughter at 7:45 and go to bed. So thats exactly what I did. Having a plan is good. Being able to have the ability to deviate from the plan (not easy for me) and listen to your body? Even better. I awoke early this morning refreshed and grateful, and think that I will have a better time teaching this morning for honoring myself instead of pushing myself.
The sun has just crept up over the field behind me. We get the most beautiful sunrises. Here is a little sunrise tree for you, a reminder to
I don't understand all the big yoga words..., but I like the breathing and centered nature it focuses on. Oh, and flexibility. Wow, wouldn't life just be easier if we could breathe through the hard times and become more flexible? so proud of you. xoxo
ReplyDeleteThank you for the reminder to be flexible. I forget. A lot. Peace sister. Keep up the awesome blog!
ReplyDeleteI find "official" yoga to be so intimidating. "Tree pose," I get. "Vriksasana?" That's over my head even when it's the same thing. I keep trying to motivate myself to try one of the gym classes. (I've only ever done yoga in a small studio with a friend or at home.) I can't decide between two that work in my schedule...Hot Vinyasa Yoga, which kind of seems like it would smell like a football player's locker and Slow Burn Yoga, which just sounds slow and like everyone goes at their own pace. I need to find an energetic teacher like you!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I am on the exact same page as you regarding "stuff." Sometimes if I start to feel anxious or overwhelmed, just tackling and organizing a small area can really help. It's amazing how much stuff you accumulate simply by having a partner and children. It can be stifling. I will sign up for the nursing home enlightenment session with you. ;) xoxo
Karly this made me laugh. Totally agree about hot vinyasa yoga (Though I admit to not being a big fan of actual "hot" classes, warming up the room a little? Great! HOT yoga? Not for me, I like to generate my own heat as I just feel like its safer for the body. Plus I'm already one who sweats a lot, I don't need extra help in that department. And for some reason "slow burn yoga" makes me want to say it with a little leer on my face and raise my eyebrows suggestively at you. Would you like the slow burn, baby?? That said, I would love to hear what each class is like, especially the slow burn one, as vinyasa is pretty much vinyasa. I'm always interested in classes where they have names which lead me to not know whats going to happen (like, my gym has a class called "Yoga Journey"....eh? The mystery class. Anyway ~ go for it! I want to hear what happens. xoxo
ReplyDeleteI second what Jeannie said! I and am with you on getting more done with Nate away. Cal's in between jobs. We've gone from him working 2 jobs 80+hours a week, to being home. All.The.Time. I had grand plans of tackling big projects and not a dish being unclean, yet I am getting less done. I think it's because I like just hanging out with him coupled with the thought of 'I can do that later because Cal will be home'. Wishing you lots of deep breaths as we head into another week!
ReplyDelete