Intention.

So. Luke was sleeping in my bed with me Wednesday night with me, after I wrote that post. I couldn't get to sleep as I was wrestless from being on the computer and from being worried about him. I was starting a new book (Burial Rites) and was generally unsettled, something I never am at bedtime. Thats my 5 am ritual :)

My hand was on his head as I held my kindle in the other hand. Suddenly he sat upright from a dead sleep saying "Mama is my ear bleeding???? SO WEIRD. It wasn't bleeding but his eardrum had ruptured. Having been through the hoops with Jules and Jake on this, I knew it when I saw it. His was less eventful than the others, but it gave him the same relief. I dosed him again and he fell very gratefully back to sleep, the pressure gone.

Thursday he stayed home with Jake and I. We entrenched. We went deep. Phone calls? unreturned (sorry, friends).  We all read and read and read. It can be inconvienant when the kids are sick, but I've become really aware of what a blessing it is to have a relatively simple, uncomplicated life. In some ways I miss work, and I have all the admiration in the world for Mama's who work outside the home....but when there is a sick kid, I do appreciate that beyond things like missing yoga, or maybe having to reschedule something with a friend, I can accomidate their illness, settle in, and not feel any pressure from anyone. No boss giving me a hard time, no stress about time off from work. It is a bit of a luxury and one that I am grateful for.

Brooke came last night and I actually got out of the house. I went to the 5:45 level 2 class and then downstairs to the inversion class. The level II class was bizarre! When you as a teacher ask if people have issues, and someone tells you that they have had a knee replacement and HAVE ISSUES from it, why on earth do you then do a myriad of knee down positions? Hero's pose? Multiple knee down crescent lunges? A  king pigeon against the wall? Why ask people if they need modifications if you aren't going to modify your class? It was so odd and made me really remind myself how much you have to pay attention as a teacher and teach with intention.

The inversion class was fun and I felt very grateful to just get out of (onto?) my own head for a bit.

I taught this morning and it went really well. My challenge from Sue was to not prepare anything and to deal with what she gave me when I got there (she is learning that I am a bit (hahaha a bit) of a  control freak......scared of not knowing what to do, scared of not being in control of the situation. I'm beginning to feel like I have enough things in my little tiny yoga bag that I can get fake my way through whatever she gives me....at least for the first 20 minutes of a 75 minute level 2 class :).). I had fun with it and did well (ish, you know). I have things that repeat. I used to say "beautiful!" to everyone. Working on that! Then I would cue "Go ahead and" for every pose........or "lets" .....its so great to have a mentor ~ Some people are SO terrified of Sue ~ she is very forthright and VERY straightforward, which is why I love her. ) I don't want people to pat me on the back and say "that was lovely" when it was terrible! I want to know exactly what I'm doing wrong, and even if they or we have to all have a good laugh at my expense, its worth it to know. I've never been one to beat around the bush, nor one to miss out on a good laugh at my own expense, and Sue is me in spades. I'm incredibly grateful for her.

Had a great night out with friends who were in from Colorado last night. Interesting conversation about making life smaller. About tightening up who we devote energy to, and why. Always good food for thought.