Bikram.
I woke up this morning long before anyone else. I had let the kids stay up late last night watching a movie and cuddling with me in my bed, and Nate didn't get in until after midnight, so when I woke up at 6 I realized that I had some time to kill.
I admit to being frustrated that I wasn't going to get to a yoga class today as I had to pick up something this morning at a non negotiable time, which happened to be the same time that the gym and studio were offering classes. On a whim I thought about the bikram studio that I had been meaning to get to. I googled it, and when an Amazon local deal popped up for it offering 5 classes for $35, I went for it. I then went to their website and checked their schedule.....and lo and behold they had a 7;30 am class. Confession: I've never done an actual Bikram class. I've done hot yoga (vinyasa), I've done "stationary yoga" (which I was told, before today, was the exact bikram poses.....it isn't), so between the two I was like, yeah, Bikram, got it. Anyway. I had heard some bad things about this place, things about body shaming and another person told me that they had asked them to move from the front row to the back row because their balance was not good (?!?!?!?!?). I had said I wouldn't go there based on that info, but curiosity got the better of me.
I quickly cut up fruit, set out orange juice, peanut buttered bagels, and wrote a giant note for the kids saying that their kindles were charged, breakfast was on the table, Mama was at yoga, and DO NOT WAKE UP DADDY HE IS TIRED. I fumbled for yoga clothes in the dark, and rode off into the crazy fog and pouring rain. I got to the studio at about 7:10. As I walked in Mr. Cool walked in with me. My first impression was that it smelled like the snake house at the zoo? Or a pet store? It had some sort of wet-inside-of-a-tank sort of moist heavy smell. Granted, they were closed all afternoon for carpet cleaning so perhaps they were at the peak of stink or something.....but it smelled. Like animal. And this is a big fancy Bikram place in a big fancy wealthy area. Dear Lord. I paid with my voucher, took clothing and shoes off in the (very nice) locker room, and came back out to the entrance area to buy a water as I had forgotten my bottle. Mr Cool was sitting out at a table by the (very nice) entrance talking to the women who were working there (I think that they own it/teach there).....and they were trash talking some other yoga person and then talking about some student and talking about putting her in some position to shut her up (?!?!?!!?) - not kidding - it was so offing weird. It was high school, but the mean kids from high school.
I bought my water and then totally fell for the 'buy stuff" gag and bought a new towel for my mat which I had been wanting anyway. My new mat is really sticky. That means that the bottom of it seems to pick up every piece of generalized filth and stranger hair in a given studio. That then means that when I roll it up, the bottom of it deposits those gross bits onto the sticky top of my mat. It was SO distracting picking ick off of my mat while in downward dog. I was getting OCD about cleaning my mat. Just this week I learned to fold it in half first, so the clean side touched itself, then roll it, but I don't want a crease in the middle of my mat. So, a non skid towel.
This is getting long. Anyway. I was told to go into the room. The room was HUGE. I was shocked to see how many people were in there. I found a spot and looked around. I clearly had too many clothes on (too many being two pieces, a top and a bottom). Hm. I laid down and kept trying to sneak looks around under the pretense of gently stretching. Meanwhile my mind is going EVERYONE IS NAKED. I SEE ALL OF THAT MANS HAIRY BACK MOLES. RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. My clothing was clearly wrong. This was all weird. I was in this steamy, slightly smelly room with a carpet and a bunch of naked people and none of us were on any drugs. I took off my shirt as I knew I was wearing one of my best, fullest coverage sports bras. I've never been immune to peer pressure nor claimed to be.
The teacher walks in ~ IT WAS MR. COOL! He waits till 7:30 on the dot, sweeps in with a flourish, and starts giving commands. Er kay? With his tribal bands tattoos and his big muscles!!! It was such a strange dynamic. I can't even explain it. He was ..... sexy? And there were about 7 girls in bikinis, some in string bikinis. And it felt like slippery sexy yoga? And I confess that I was trying to find a funny picture for this post and made the mistake of googling bikram yoga naked - DO NOT DO THIS - I thought I'd find a funny cartoon or something. Instead I need eye bleach and my innocence back.
The practice itself was cool.....similar to the standing yoga classes at ACAC but more intense and more repetitions. I liked the standing part a lot, though I found the laying down part to get a bit boring and found my mind wandering which I don't like. You do sweat, a lot. I had to put a cloth headband on after about 15 minutes as the sweat was stinging the hell out of my eyes. At the end of the practice Mr. Cool sweeps out and tells us all to stay in shavasana as long as we like. And that was it! In the locker room afterward it was SO weird, no one said anything to one another. No chatter, no chit chat, no small talk. it was SERIOUS BUSINESS. So unlike the happy bantering and friendly conversation at my gym or at the studio! It was bizarre.
So. Bikram!!! I think that the studio is filled with snobby snobs and the string bikini thing with mr. cool......
I admit to being frustrated that I wasn't going to get to a yoga class today as I had to pick up something this morning at a non negotiable time, which happened to be the same time that the gym and studio were offering classes. On a whim I thought about the bikram studio that I had been meaning to get to. I googled it, and when an Amazon local deal popped up for it offering 5 classes for $35, I went for it. I then went to their website and checked their schedule.....and lo and behold they had a 7;30 am class. Confession: I've never done an actual Bikram class. I've done hot yoga (vinyasa), I've done "stationary yoga" (which I was told, before today, was the exact bikram poses.....it isn't), so between the two I was like, yeah, Bikram, got it. Anyway. I had heard some bad things about this place, things about body shaming and another person told me that they had asked them to move from the front row to the back row because their balance was not good (?!?!?!?!?). I had said I wouldn't go there based on that info, but curiosity got the better of me.
I quickly cut up fruit, set out orange juice, peanut buttered bagels, and wrote a giant note for the kids saying that their kindles were charged, breakfast was on the table, Mama was at yoga, and DO NOT WAKE UP DADDY HE IS TIRED. I fumbled for yoga clothes in the dark, and rode off into the crazy fog and pouring rain. I got to the studio at about 7:10. As I walked in Mr. Cool walked in with me. My first impression was that it smelled like the snake house at the zoo? Or a pet store? It had some sort of wet-inside-of-a-tank sort of moist heavy smell. Granted, they were closed all afternoon for carpet cleaning so perhaps they were at the peak of stink or something.....but it smelled. Like animal. And this is a big fancy Bikram place in a big fancy wealthy area. Dear Lord. I paid with my voucher, took clothing and shoes off in the (very nice) locker room, and came back out to the entrance area to buy a water as I had forgotten my bottle. Mr Cool was sitting out at a table by the (very nice) entrance talking to the women who were working there (I think that they own it/teach there).....and they were trash talking some other yoga person and then talking about some student and talking about putting her in some position to shut her up (?!?!?!!?) - not kidding - it was so offing weird. It was high school, but the mean kids from high school.
I bought my water and then totally fell for the 'buy stuff" gag and bought a new towel for my mat which I had been wanting anyway. My new mat is really sticky. That means that the bottom of it seems to pick up every piece of generalized filth and stranger hair in a given studio. That then means that when I roll it up, the bottom of it deposits those gross bits onto the sticky top of my mat. It was SO distracting picking ick off of my mat while in downward dog. I was getting OCD about cleaning my mat. Just this week I learned to fold it in half first, so the clean side touched itself, then roll it, but I don't want a crease in the middle of my mat. So, a non skid towel.
This is getting long. Anyway. I was told to go into the room. The room was HUGE. I was shocked to see how many people were in there. I found a spot and looked around. I clearly had too many clothes on (too many being two pieces, a top and a bottom). Hm. I laid down and kept trying to sneak looks around under the pretense of gently stretching. Meanwhile my mind is going EVERYONE IS NAKED. I SEE ALL OF THAT MANS HAIRY BACK MOLES. RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. My clothing was clearly wrong. This was all weird. I was in this steamy, slightly smelly room with a carpet and a bunch of naked people and none of us were on any drugs. I took off my shirt as I knew I was wearing one of my best, fullest coverage sports bras. I've never been immune to peer pressure nor claimed to be.
The teacher walks in ~ IT WAS MR. COOL! He waits till 7:30 on the dot, sweeps in with a flourish, and starts giving commands. Er kay? With his tribal bands tattoos and his big muscles!!! It was such a strange dynamic. I can't even explain it. He was ..... sexy? And there were about 7 girls in bikinis, some in string bikinis. And it felt like slippery sexy yoga? And I confess that I was trying to find a funny picture for this post and made the mistake of googling bikram yoga naked - DO NOT DO THIS - I thought I'd find a funny cartoon or something. Instead I need eye bleach and my innocence back.
The practice itself was cool.....similar to the standing yoga classes at ACAC but more intense and more repetitions. I liked the standing part a lot, though I found the laying down part to get a bit boring and found my mind wandering which I don't like. You do sweat, a lot. I had to put a cloth headband on after about 15 minutes as the sweat was stinging the hell out of my eyes. At the end of the practice Mr. Cool sweeps out and tells us all to stay in shavasana as long as we like. And that was it! In the locker room afterward it was SO weird, no one said anything to one another. No chatter, no chit chat, no small talk. it was SERIOUS BUSINESS. So unlike the happy bantering and friendly conversation at my gym or at the studio! It was bizarre.
So. Bikram!!! I think that the studio is filled with snobby snobs and the string bikini thing with mr. cool......
This scene didn't happen this morning. But the overall feeling that I was left with was that it probably does. Maybe on a friday afternoon.
So I have four more fun filled Bikram classes to attend! I'll keep the bikinis in the drawer and keep you posted.
This had me snorting with laughter. And it's also kind of my nightmare. I'm so impressed you stayed. Is carpet the norm for some yoga studios? I've only seen hardwood floors. The idea of so many people sweating into carpet kind of makes my brain implode. Right after my nose. Yuck! Can't wait to hear the rest of your bikini yoga adventures though. So strange and random that you just have to go back. And then share. ;-)
ReplyDeleteCracking up, too!
ReplyDeleteI have to admit that I do Bikram yoga regularly, and I adore it. I also have a total no pressure studio, and I think that makes a huge difference. If my first class had been what you described, I would have never stayed.
We chit chat before and after, we work hard and sweat a lot, but we also have fun while doing it. The studio also offers other styles of yoga, so maybe that's why it is more laid back?
I sweat like nobody's business, so I don't wear much more than shorts and a tank top/light shirt, but when I was first starting out (and when the studio is hotter/more humid than normal) I was wearing just a sports bra and bottoms. I do have to admit that I am often distracted by the guy that only wears boxer briefs in class. I just stay far away from him. ;)
My studio does have carpet, too. It is cleaned regularly (I have been there as the cleaners come in), and I don't really notice the smell. (Except for a few times, which I am guessing was about time for them to be cleaned.) It is cushier, which is great for my knee that doesn't like hardwoods. I guess it is also supposed to help build strength during the standing series as it takes activation of the correct (?) muscles to keep from slipping around.
I have to admit though, I am excited to see them adding in more variety. My regular Thursday class is now a Yin class, which I am finding I really enjoy. I am trying to find a time to get to the power/vinyasa classes, but those tend to be when I am at work.