5/4

 The girl kid and I. A beautiful Saturday morning away

Hiking

 The wee one gets a lift. 

Tyler Arboretum Sunday morning after my first class and before my second. This was a long day, too long.

 Just because this makes me laugh so hard. Nate commented that Jake didn't know how to drink from a water fountain, that he was lapping water up like a dog. I had to see that, so I came over. He was figuring it out but it was still funny so I got out my phone and got this by accident. It cracks me up.

 Rain gear. Coat, pants, cart gloves, rain gloves, hand warmers. As Golf Galaxy was out of rain hats when I called on Monday I borrowed my Mom's as she wasn't able to play in todays match. Extra socks. Last night as I tried it all on together and tried to figure out my outfit for 45 and hard rain and wind I had Jules take a picture as I felt like I was gearing up for an Everest expedition, not a round of golf. Normal people don't play in this weather, so I didn't have the gear for it. Thankfully I had called GG on Sunday requesting that they pull the smallest set of women's rain wear they had ~ they pulled the ONLY small pants and jacket they had……when I came in with the kids Monday afternoon and picked them up from on hold they said "Let me guess? GAP match tomorrow? We've had 30 women in here today looking for these pants!" :) The pants? So big that they look like hip waders. I rolled them over about three times on the left and two on the right so I could still access the pocket. I need to create a line of functional, cute petite women's golf gear. GOD is that an underdeveloped market.

I was feeling really ready. Everything laid out to the last detail. I'm way too organized when it comes to that sort of thing (though I admit a last minute change-into-lunch-outfit-switch lost me a good 5 minutes. I had gone to bed early after working hard all day yesterday ~ Foodshopping, teaching, cooking, so much laundry, cleaning, date setting, plan making, etc. I woke up at 6 and read for a bit, took a long relaxed shower, coffeed, sent an email or two, and dressed all before the kids woke. Brooke was here at 7:30 and I was out the door by 7:45. On the range by 8:10. On the tee at 9. We started on 14 which I think is our #3 handicap, a long uphill par 5. I won the hole. Lost, lost. From one up to 1 down, quickly. Back and forth we went. I think that I may have gone one up once again, then went down 1. Down 2. Down 3, down 4. GAH!!!!! Did I mention that when I went down 1 it started pouring? I was using my cart gloves, got out my rain gloves, slapped on my Moms rain hat, and was freezing. The hand warmers didn't do a damn thing as I didn't have the cart gloves long enough between shots to get warm.

Today I lost…..but I lost badly. And by badly I don't mean that I lost with a bad attitude or got my ass kicked (I came to find out my opponents handicap was a 12, I'm currently a 19, definitely going up at this next revision……….our course is so effing hard) So? She had 7 strokes on  me and I lost by 4 so I hung in there. The thing is? I had SO MANY opportunities today that I just didn't take advantage of. I can count 9 strokes that I left on the course today and MAN that stings. Its one thing to play well and lose ~ and I didn't necessarily play terribly today ~ I hung in there and really fought through some holes…..but I MISSED OPPORTUNITIES. Again……its so hard to win.  Plus?? The cart thing!!!!!! I need caddy play! I like my opponents too much and we are talking talking talking and occasionally I felt pushed by the group behind or just hurried myself for no reason and I rushed shots. That is just lazy, bad form. I should never rush. Ever. So ~  a loss to a 12 who is a super fit pilates teacher 49 year old who has been playing GAP matches for 8 years and golfing since she was 11? Okay. She played better than me and she deserved it today because I lost holes and she won them . Hole after hole where I had the put to tie or to push and I simply could not get the ball in the hole. NO CONFIDENCE over the put.

The usual suspects stayed around from , oh, 12-2:20 having "lunch" in front of the fireplace (after the actual lunch). Ginny, Diane, Cindy, me. Lisa was missing today. I've found my golf people. After 10 years of being the only female golfer amongst our friends I finally have women to play with! I'm so grateful.

I need a putting lesson. Or a new putter. Or both. Or a shrink. ALL THREE!!!!   It was SO COLD out there today. I thought I was being silly wearing my winter running fleece lined athleta long polar tech pants under my rain gear and an under-armor long sleeve under my team shirt under my rain gear….not silly. I ought to have brought one of my infinity scarves, my ears were freezing and my ponytail got soaked, which felt just great as it was slapping away at my face and neck with every shot. I will say that the rain gear is awesome. Really cool to see the water just beading up and running down my coat. Didn't really bust out the rain gloves till the last couple but they seemed okay.  The wind was a beast…….I was playing holes into the wind and playing 2 clubs up and striking the ball well and coming up just short of the green. Crazy. Drives were like 50 yards shorter than normal on some holes. OY. 

Asked my Dad to play in a mixed gender/different generation tourney July 31 and he said yes! We've never played in a tournament together before and I'm really excited! He's a great golfer and has a very steadying effect on me on the course. I think that we will be a good team! 

My (crossfit) yoga class on Sunday had 8! Up from just 3 the first week. Very good news. Sunday and Monday were smaller classes than usual at the Y…….I think that it was due to the beautiful weather. Friday we were away at a friends farm overnight, Saturday we returned in time for Luke's game, went to the Reeds house for a party, Sunday I taught, we hiked at Tyler, I taught at Proven, then we played 18 with the Kilfoys (this was what set me up for feeling good, I felt so so solid over the ball ~ albeit tired after teaching two classes and carrying/walking the 18. I parred 18 which is a tough hole and felt like that was a good omen coming into today), THEN had them and their 3 kids over for dinner.  The night went way later than I had anticipated ~ which was lovely ~ but unexpected!!! Upon waking yesterday to no food, a relatively messy house, a ton of laundry etc……I tried to climb back into bed and just be in denial. It didn't work. There is no denial with 3 kids and no food and Nate out of town and today to plan for and……….life? Need to remember that teaching 2 classes and walking 18 and THEN entertaining till 10:30 at night on an Sunday with the wine flowing is NOT A good idea. Long weekend. Another Match on Friday and I'm screwed again, playing a really good golfer, playing in like 5th position first team, which is just stupid. Its just that so many players are out. I am going to probably get soundly beaten Friday. I have to be two people tomorrow at the 2/3 of the kids special person tea (I'm so doubly special) but Nate, Mom, Dad, Pete all out and Bec, Jeannie, Sara, Jenny Lex, etc all have another kid to consider who I can't watch while I'm busy being special, so I'm just spreading my special far and wide! 

I'm learning from each match. Today was the first one where I learned to lose frustrated, but with a smile on my face. I learned what it felt like to really feel regret after a match, to know that I left shots out there on the course. And I don't want to feel this way again. Losing when playing my best game is one thing. Losing when making dumb mistakes and missing puts is another. The first two matches were the first scenario, today was the latter. Its good to learn both so that I know what feeling I want to avoid. 

I don't know why part of this is white. No smarts. So many tireds. Namaste.