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 Oh man. I was so nervous. So nervous!

Yesterday was a lovely closing out to our teacher training program. We did out last niyama in the morning, then Merin did her practicum. Following that we went straight to Pam's home for a fantastic meal/potluck and some circle time. In case you have never experienced it ~ let me tell you that it is an extraordinary experience sharing ~ directly ~ what joy or help or lessons or gifts another woman has brought into your life. Our group has been together for over 7 months now……there have been so many blessings along the way! Beyond that ~ for me ~ it is incredibly difficult ~ like, to the point of me wanting to run out of the room…….to listen without replying to peoples kind words. I so deeply felt the need to thank them and respond in kind…but as per the spirit of the circle I could not. It was a good exercise for a person who relates like I do (constantly wanting to make connections) , and I'm so glad that we did it.

My anxiety about tomorrow started creeping in during Merin's fantastic practicum. My mind started racing a bit. I practiced last night in the basement, alone. I set my alarm for 5 and practiced again in the morning. I got to they Y and was having a music snafu. It was so totally confidence boosting (FUCKING NOT). Finally got it on.

Sue had said something to me recently ~ telling me to stop worrying ~ that once the time came it would be "lights camera action" and I would know what to do. My biggest fear was that it would be "lights camera action" time and I would freeze up. 75 minutes is a long time!

It went well. I felt okay, never panicked, never rushed, never like people might actually die like I saw in that class weeks ago. Dying is bad. Can totally ruin ones reputation when you have a student drop hot dead in your class. One of my big fears had been moving too quickly and having to make up time at the end………but instead the class flew by ~ I had to discard some supine positions in order to give them their well deserved shavasana.

All afternoon I've been replaying the class in my min, thinking of how maybe I could have done it better? Who knows.

Its under my belt, tomorrow is my next class at 12:15, and I can't wait!

Namaste, all.