Yes! The doors open. Or close. Perfectly.

      Okay! Thanks to those of you who commented! I followed your advice (which I owe you replies to, and consider and appreciate more than you know…..), woke early and meditated, took a tai chi class today, and wouldn't you know it, the answer came clearly to me! As I requested to the universe, at least for today, I got a stay of execution, the decision will still have to be made, but it was extended.

      I was to teach at Athleta tomorrow. The original version had already been altered, due to Little Nest changing their plans. I had spoken to my contact at Athleta, the person who had "recruited" me to do the class a week ago, after initially setting it in motion about a month ago. She was to get in touch with me about a day or two ahead of the class to finalize details (Like, when I would get my *whoo hoo free clothes* or where exactly we were setting up or did I have a max or minimum number of students or how had this been advertised etc). Hadn't heard from her as of last night. I again dealt with my mounting anxiety (because on top of the 40 person party at my house Thursday and my class at AIG tonight and the out of town wedding Friday night and my Club Match Play Championship Final on Saturday and being at Namas Day all day Sunday and negotiating this charity golf outing with FC board members and the club director while simultaneously having a bit of mad angst and personal tumult about the costs of setting up a personal website…..well, its been hectic. My Dad IS able to caddy for me for Saturdays match, I'm going to sneak in a quick nine holes tomorrow morning and then  just let it be ~ I'm really really excited for the match. To make it to the finals in my first year participating in the tournament is a  big deal and, well, I would really, really love to win. Its a big pay out, and I'd be forever on the club trophy wall. Pretty cool!

      Moving on. I had a 9:30 tee time today….and it started pouring at 8:30. Changed from golf clothes (and was grateful for the hour I had spent chipping and putting yesterday with Jake) to gym clothes. Worked out HARD. Stairs. Strength. Plyo. Tai Chi. Cleaned like a banshee for three hours preparing for tomorrow nights party. Made a great playlist for tonights class at AIG, where I was told to expect 3-5 students, and had been told that I could kick it up a notch from my Sunday AM flow class. Burned it onto CD as they didn't have an iPhone hook up. At about 2 I called Athleta, trying to contact Nicole, who had set this up. Cane to find out that Nicole was "no longer working there"…..now, I had just been in shopping (celebrating my win on Friday with two new outfits, because, win!) and she was still there, though not working that day. THIS MEANT, that no one knew about my class, that it hadn't been advertised, and that I was officially off the hook. THIS MEANT, no being up till all hours making up the flyer I was planning to attach to my business cards in lieu of my website being up and running. THIS MEANT, freedom tomorrow morning. This also meant that I got out of the class that I WASN'T thrilled about, and have also now set up teaching TWO classes there, at the times I want, with the advertising I want, to the clients I want…….TWO outfits, and buys me time to make decisions on this website biz. It could be that a simple Facebook page is the better way to go right now. My fear about creating a Facebook page is that in updating it I 'spam' my friends……..which I so don't want to do. I'd rather have a site that I could direct new clients to that they could check out on their time, rather than updating friends who "like" my page with info that they theoretically don't even care about. I hate annoying people and don't want to become "that person" that people have to hide on FB.

      Here's the thing. I have come up with this idea, in the time of Enterovirus and Ebola…..where bounce houses and chucky cheese and sky zone and every other petri dish of filth may not be as en vogue as they usually are………I'm bringing yoga parties to families. I'm providing mats and the "craft" in the form of that decorative duct tape everyone is crazy about, markers and whatever else. Kids come to the yoga birthday party in yoga clothes, (there are several different add ons parents can opt for at additional cost), and after personalizing their own mats artistically, I then lead kids through a fun and interactive 45 minute yoga practice. Creative props like hula hoops (sun salutations with hula hoops are awesome) leaves, feathers, etc……all geared to the age appropriate level. 90 minutes of entertainment, and kids have their party favor in the form of a personalized yoga mat. I'm then outta there and Mom can do her cake/birthday thing, with kids having been entertained in a healthy, creative and unique way for 90 or more minutes.

      Within a few days of mentioning the idea to just a few friends I was booked for three parties. Charging $225 for the party (for groups of 6-10 kids and 90 minutes of work on my end)….well, it seems too good of a deal to pass up. My costs are low, especially now that I have a tax ID # and can buy things as my business. This is where my fear came from. Now, golf is rolling to a close at the end of this month. I have a friend/yoga teacher who wants to get in on this with me ~ I can hire her out to parties with a take as its my business, giving me some freedom and the business room to grow/be flexible. Of course, once you get in with the kids you have incredible access to the Mom's, who are my ultimate market……..I really want to work with Mom's through pregnancy/post pregnancy, or Mom's who are trying to get back into their fitness groove in a non destructive (AKA Crossfit/BEASTMODE/MUST DO AN ULTRA MARATHON!) healthy and safe and body honoring manner. I'm also offering prenatal personal packages, small group power flow packages, small group inversion classes at my house, corporate packages (I have one lined up so far, I'm renting out a yoga studio at $20/hour and charging…well, a lot more than that to teach a private class to a small business on a Friday afternoon, they will then serve appetizers and drinks after yoga as a way to thank their employees.) and a host of other things. Packages, baby. Its where its at.

So. I was feeling all of this pressure to make this decision by tomorrow morning. GUESS WHAT? All of that worrying and whatnot was for naught. Nicole, one way or another is gone, as is my class. I'm immensely relieved. I can now take a step back and make decisions from less of a place of fear, and from more of a level headed position.

When running yesterday I also found about a new place from Tiffany. They offer yoga there, and in looking it up I like the look of it. Its in Paoli, a bit farther than my classes (I'm so spoiled, I've officially taught now at 6 places, all of which are within 4 miles)……..this may be 5? miles, but its a heavily trafficked 5. I may go check it out tomorrow morning, weather depending. They offer barre, spin, pilates, yoga, zumba, and circuit training and a few other things that I didn't even recognize. Tiff said that the energy was great and I'm feeling ready for a new sales challenge. I'm going to check it out in the coming week and see if I can't get hired to teach there, or at least get on the sub list.

The AIG class was awesome. I was told that there are usually 3-5 students, I had 3. 2 men, 1 woman. It's so much fun to get permission to crank it up a little…I haven't had the opportunity to really do that in a class that wasn't "Sue's"……….and I loved that. I felt like I was able to gauge them, adapt to them, and teach to them……..and they responded to me. It worked. We flowed together. I want a power flow  (where no one has a baptiste expectation) class, my own class……somewhere. I need to go get it.

It was a great day. Powerful workout. Entire house cleaned. New opportunity capitalized on. Fear, delayed, and fear conquered with the corporate gig going swimmingly.

This was the quote that I read at the end of their class:

"You are not going to change the whole world, but we can change ourselves and feel free as birds. We can be serene even in the midst of calamities and, by our serenity, make others more tranquil. Serenity is contagious . If we smile at someone, he or she will smile back. And a smile costs nothing. We should plague everyone with joy. If we are to die in a minute, why not die happily, laughing?

- Swami Satchidanananda (The Yoga Sutras)

A smile costs nothing.

Thank you friends for helping me to remember that the journey is supposed to make me smile.