Be specific.

I am just overwhelmed.

As I sit in my office (er, my bed) running our new lives ( Dr Appointments, physical therapy, rides to such events, childcare etc) I am simply overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and help we are getting from our friends. Sitters are lines up through July 8th, every day. Dinners are as well, from friends. Friends are driving me to and from Dr's appointmenets. Sara is sleeping over this Thursday night as Nate has to go out of town and god for forbid I fall again or there is some emergency.....I keep thinking back to last Sunday night and thinking "what if". "What if" Nate hadn't been around. I could not have even gotten to my cell phone. I would have had to lay on my bathroom floor, screaming, until I woke up one of the kids and they had been able to bring me my cell phone so that I could call my parents or a friend to come stay with them, and then the ambulance. An experience like this one makes you feel extremely vulnerable. I absolutely see how the death rates for the elderly range from 14%`36% in the year following this surgery. Its a mean, nasty, painful injury, and a mean nasty recovery. And if I were doing it in some hospital bed, lonely and eating sub standard poor quality food and having a limited ability to get up and walk, or be outside, or listen to happy music, or to get out into the community or be surrounded by loved ones, I can easily see how something like this can lead one to just kick the bucket. Because it blows. I've also learned something really important about helping others. Don't just do the "IF you need ANYTHING, call me!". I will never call you. Just won't. Here who is helping me. The person who says :

*I am free all day on Monday, write a list I am going food shopping for you
*I am free either Tue or Wed, which day would be better for me to pick up your kids and take them to the park from nap time till dinner time?
*I know your husband is away, mine is home, what night can I come over and give all three baths so you can rest?
*I'm coming over and making 30 peanut butter and jelly freezer sandwiches so that your babysitters can just grab three on mornings where they are headed out to the park and you don't have to be up on your feet making lunches (this was becca, and this was brilliant)
* You can't drive and I can, what dr appointments do you have and can I take you to/from them?
*I know our kids are going to the same camp, can I take.pick up your kids every day so you don't have to have your sitter worry about it?

I'm seeing firsthand how we all know how hard it is to ask for help when we are the type A personality, which it seems most of my friends are. We are used to doing, not having done for us. This makes it particularly hard to ask for, or accept help. The vague "oh, like, let me know what I can do!" things don't work for us. I need take charge help, just like I need take charge people :) Its still really hard to accept at first, but it gets easier. So does resting. I'm taking solid 3 and 4 hour naps a day right now. Not too shabby. Off to my GP tomorrow to discuss getting a DEXA scan, and than back to my osteopath on Wednesday to check on my healing. I likely have several more MRI's and X ray's in my future as they are the only true way to check on the healing. I'm also going to check on a return to exercise, as now that the joint is stable, I think that I can begin doing ab work, arm work, and even swimming. Have to get the skinny on that for sure, but I'm cautiously optimistic.