Invincible Summer

I love this Camus quote. And it it surely not winter as its going to be 98 today, so I don't have to look ALL that hard to find the invincible summer AROUND me, but I do find myself having to search deep and to search hard to find the eternal and invincible hope and the invincible spirit  which represents summer within me, at the moment.

I had my first running dream last night, AND my first swimming dream. Both were lovely, but of course I woke up in my non running non swimming body. That was a bit of a let down. The progress feels slow, but then I remember back to where I was a week ago, and I am amazed by how far I have come in that time. I need to remember that baby steps ultimately get us to where we need or want to be, they just get us there slowly. I need to remember that this ability to lay in bed all day, or have friends come visit and have long gab sessions laying in my bed like when we were teenagers, to have other people feed my family for almost three months straight, to have friends take the kids for sleepovers, or playdates, and to have daily nanny help is a luxury......I need to remember ~ DAILY ~ that this is all so that I can heal, so that I can be an even better, smarter, and stronger athlete than I was before.  I miss being outside terribly, so this morning I forced myself to get outside with the kids for just a bit before the kids were off to the pool with Brooke. I can still pitch to Luke while on crutches, or have a catch with Julia while on crutches. My poor Garden, even with its total lack of attention these past two weeks, is wildly thriving and my herbs are out of control. Just to get my hands in the soil for 15 minutes of weeding felt wonderfully therapudic. If anyone needs some herbs, I'm your girl. I'm making it part of my therapy to get outside for at least an hour every day, to look at the field behind us, to take in the breeze and the smells of summer, and to remember that even in this hyperbolic "winter" of my injury and my present experience, it is not only summer outside, but there is an unbreakable summer within me. There is a place of calm and hope, a place which cannot be broken by a set back like this.

I start in home physical therapy today! The physical therapist gets to my house at 12. I have no idea what to expect but I'm excited to start. I admit that as I start to feel better I've been getting the urge to do some ab work, or to start to do some simple yoga poses, mostly breath work and upper body movement with meditation, but man does it feel good to move my upper body. In a strange way my recovery time is going to be faster in some ways with the surgery because the joint is stable (artificially) versus the instability of waiting on a fracture to heal on its own. I'm interested to see what this woman has to say regarding a course of treatment, and then say what my other options (I'm getting like three opinions on this one as it's way important to me) have to say about it. I'm adding in a peanut butter banana smoothie, heavy on the peanut butter, every afternoon to try to stop this weight free fall. I'm concerned about this DEXA scan........this is such a rare and uncommon injury for someone my age (i'm literally 40 years younger than the average person undergoing the surgery I had) that I am worried that there is something wrong my bones. I guess Monday will tell us what we need to know, so there is no point fretting until then. I've never broken a single bone in my body before, so it seems strange to me, but hey, I can't pretend that my history didn't happen, and it happened during prime bone density building years (before 20), so that certainly causes me some worry. I guess if we have to deal with that we will just take that in stride too.

Now, I'm off to nap #1 of the day before physical therapy.