4 who?? 4 what?? Jake is turning 4.

 The first real BBQ of summer

The little dude got presents. 

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The most important ones……his golf clubs and a big guy bike!

My Mom made a little birthday montage. 

Jakes birthday makes me the most emotional of any of my kids. I kept a blog of the last month of his pregnancy and the first few post partum weeks, and I just sat here out on the deck reading through it with big crocodile tears rolling down my face. His birth changed me. Almost losing him at 2 changed me. Each of my kids are so unique and important to me in different ways, I love them all wholeheartedly, but I think that after almost losing a child there is a slightly different way that you feel about them. I worry more about Jake. I have more fears about something bad happening to him. Its impossible to explain and it isn't logical and it is painful. No workouts on the horizon today as I have a lot of house putting back together to do and we have plans with friends this afternoon. Tomorrow morning is an early tee time for the ladies day tournament. Its a "blind hole" format, which means that you play your regular 18 holes, and then turn in your scorecard. Certain holes have been selected by the club Pro as the tournament holes, you don't know which ones, and how you scored on those holes determines the winner. Sounds fun, I've never done that before. There are lots of opportunities to sub coming up, so I have to go through the list and figure out which classes I can pick up, as well as find subs for the 2 weeks we will be in Cape May once swim team ends. Summer is really about to kick into high gear as I think that afternoon swim practices start this week, I can't believe that its really here…..