Decisions

I've made the courageous decision to have my nodes removed. (Does anyone else adore this movie? I have to have seen it about 15 times now. Its awesome and has great music). Okay, I don't have nodes. I do have hardware. And I can't take it anymore. Something has to give. I haven't been to the gym since….last thursday? Golf Friday, away, teaching, games and golf, teaching, tuesday golf, yesterday I had errands to run and ended up at the mall doing spring shopping…(Athleta has racerback dresses out that are INCREDIBLE! I tried to buy every color but they are already sold out of many sizes. Get on this. Also their bikinis this year are extra cute.) ….....and the result? I was in a ton of pain yesterday with my hip. Like, pain like I haven't been in in at least a year. Working out for me is no longer a habit, its something that I need to do to stay physically comfortable. Well, what do I do when life intervenes? I mean, it isn't even like I haven't worked out or been active, teaching three classes and walking two and playing three rounds of golf in 5 days is pretty active. Was it the weather? We had torrential downpours yesterday and maybe the changes in barometric pressure had something to do with it?



I don't know. But I do know that the way that I felt while I was sitting at the kids swim practice was almost unbearable, I wanted to bang my leg against things. It was maddening. I'm off to the gym today to try to work it out, but I'm also setting up an appointment with my Ortho. I need to discuss removing everything, and the idea of just removing the one screw that so seems to be the problem. (That gem was the brainchild of a friends husband who is a hip parts medical engineer. I haven't talked to my Doc about it, but doesn't it seem to make sense and sound so much less invasive than taking out all 26 inches of titanium alloy I have inside me?



Something has to change. I can't be a slave to the gym, real life has to have a place, and I can't pay the price of of being in extreme pain when I can't work out every morning. I will have to wait until Nov or so, there is no way I can have a fresh surgical wound this summer with the pool and I'm not ruining another season of golf. I will just have to stay diligent with my yoga and in getting to the gym, use meds when I need them, and set up a plan. I think that having a plan will help with my anxiety surrounding the pain when it gets intense. If I at least feel like I have a theoretical end date I won't be wondering "how can I live like this for the rest of my life".



Effing hip.