Plan B

Humility was the theme of todays class. I planned a difficult class, with a continual coming back to child's pose. I planned a special playlist, and kept the room darker than usual, and the music up louder than usual. I talked a lot about how our practice is our own, each day different, every day changing, every day unique and perfect. I talked about how we practice for ourselves, to honor ourselves, how we share the energy of the group, which means sharing ourselves and our practice with one another, and never competing against one another, or ourselves: who we were yesterday or last year. I have a few students in my 8 AM class struggling with injuries sustained from non yoga activities, and from their questions I could tell that they are frustrated by their ability to get into certain poses in the way that they "feel" they should be able to. Hence, the theme. I am feeling this myself, on my mat ~ tight hamstrings from walking my bag around 18 hilly holes. The pressure of competition wants to draw my shoulders up and tighten my upper back with stress. Forgetting to breathe fully creates a tension in my chest and neck, I noticed it on Friday night. It was beautiful. It was there, it was there for a reason, and I could simply notice it, know where it came from, and move through my practice in acceptance of it.

At the end of class someone asked me where and when else I taught. That conversation led me to talk about Sue, about how she is my mentor, how she is my teacher and the one who I really learn 1:1 from, the one who has taught me how to be a teacher. I told the student how to find Sue, and her classes, saying that I would be in those specific classes again come September. As we finished our conversation a new student approached me. She had been in class this week and last, and is dealing with a frozen shoulder, so I offered her modifications throughout class today. She has a beautiful practice. She said :

"I heard you talking about Sue, you studied with her?"

I laid out our relationship for her. She told me that she was a dance and yoga teacher (actually the head of the dance program at the University) and had just joined the Y, but had come back to my class today to offer me a teaching position! :) WTH?!!??! It is a corporate job, at a company which I won't disclose but is huge. Sue teaches there, as does this woman. She wants me to teach there, too. It would only be once a week, but the pay is incredible. I couldn't believe it, and I was incredibly flattered. This is a serious opportunity and I would be very lucky to land a job with this particular corporation.

I feel like (again) serendipity is at work, and the humility of being honest about who my teacher is, who people should go see if they really want amazing yoga (sue), opened the door to this opportunity. I have no ego in my teaching, I feel nothing but lucky and grateful every single time I get to lead a class through their practice. I carried that same theme through into the crossfit class ~ and incorporated three poses from the Jivamukti workshop. It is amazing how the more I teach the more the words are just there, on my tongue. The words that have to get spoken, the adjustments, the tiny little verbal cues that have a student adjust just *so*. To see that happen in another persons body is beautiful, it is a gift.

I went straight from both classes to the swim team banquet. Picture: open bar, huge buffet, these beautiful healthy kids everywhere, and parents dressed to the nines. I wasn't quite all fancied up coming from teaching, but I changed into something relatively reasonable and enjoyed chowing down. The awards part came. Julia was honored first as a 6 and under. Her best friend, Posey, won the most improved award, and got a huge trophy. Now. I know my Julia. I know that she was thrilled with her medal. THRILLED with her Dolphin pin. But I know, knew, that when Posey won that trophy, there may well be some tears. For as incredibly gracious and smart and in tune as Jules is, there was a part of her that very much thought that she deserved that trophy, and very much wanted it. She bravely held her little head high on stage, but when it came time to walk back down, she crumbled. She cried.

And you know what? Its okay to cry. If you never cried, if you never felt disappointment, it would mean that you had no goals. It would mean that you had no drive, no standards for yourself. I purposefully stayed away and let Nate deal with it as he was closer, and proudly watched Luke accept his awards, but I was watching with interest to see if she could rebound.

Sure enough, by the time the 8 and under awards were given Julia had reclaimed her seat by Posey's side, was admiring her trophy,and hugging her friend. I was so proud. So proud of my little non MVS winner. She won, to me, today. She learned that what matters this year was the courage and heart that she poured into that pool. She also learned how to be happy for her friend. This is a skill that will make her a great friend, instead of a sad and sorry person.

They had a huge basket raffle ~ as I wasn't there yet when Nate was buying tickets and giving them to the kids to disseminate I missed their choices. I had been talking to a friend and was walking from that friend back to my table past Julia and she waved me down saying "Mom! I put tickets into the Athleta prize basket just for you because I know you love athleta! (girl kid appreciates my Lulu boycott!)"

I didn't win the Athleta basket, but the kids each won a private 30 minute lesson with our head pro. Turns out that they skipped all of the movie and candy and Justice and whatever baskets and put all of their tickets into the "golf lesson" bucket. It worked!

It is so cool to see your kids love what you love, on their own, for themselves. It is so hard to see your kids hurt, and to leave them be to experience some hurt, so that they know that they personally have it in them to rise above hurt and to think about their friends. It is so cool to see your class be in their OWN practice, free of competition, free of judgment, free of separation from the divine.

Its been a beautiful day. Laying in the lounge chair under a shady tree in the breeze, RORY, YAY RORY!!!! and a great new book (see side reading list) has me enjoying the laziest and loveliest of afternoons.

I hope that you can feel your challenges and overcome them. I hope that you, as adults, recognize that you are not in competition. I hope that you can rebound. I hope that you can love. Especially, I hope that you can love.

Sunday afternoon bliss to all. Namaste.