The walk out.
I've had a frustrating day. It was supposed to be really hot, and I confesses to turning down a sub job that I could (should? hate should?) have taken because I simply wanted a morning with the kids with no agenda. I planned a bike ride on the trail while I got in a run, a picnic lunch at the park, and an afternoon at the pool.
Lunch packed, bikes loaded…..and the ride just wasn't gelling. Kids falling. Wanting water stops like 30 feet in. Me annoyed. Not quite the idyllic experience we usually have. I called it, quickly, deciding that it was better to admit that this wasn't our day than to turn it into some death ride. My immediate reaction was : lets head to the gym. But, the truth was, that wasn't what I wanted. I didn't feel like seeing the gym crowd at ACAC and getting roped into conversation, I didn't feel like sneaking the kids into the Y (they aren't actual members and aren't supposed to be in childcare if I'm not teaching), and I couldn't take them to crossfit as that was where I had turned down subbing (plus, I don't like crossfit and am doing everything with the aim of being loose, and in no way sore heading into my match tomorrow). Plus ~ we were at a playground and it just felt wrong to go from there to a gym. I decided to just deal with the reality of already being at the park, set the kids loose on the playground, and did some quick sprint intervals with plyometric/things (jacks, burpees, pushups, etc). It lasted about 20 minutes in the direct sun, no shade, no hat, 90 degree heat. My heart just wasn't into it. I ended up playing with the kids, enjoying our picnic, and having a lovely day at the pool with friends. It was HOT, so by 3 we headed out for some LetsYO and a pedicure for me. Nice. I had texted Nate that I was going to head to the 6:30 Yoga Journey class after dinner. Made a great fast dinner of grilled chicken salad and grilled garden veggies, quinoa and leftover ratatouille. I headed out, so excited to get my 75 minutes of opening and mind clearing in. I love long days with the kids, but there is so much chatter that quiet is so appreciated, and I'm nervous about tomorrow and was looking for the usual deep, hardworking, focused class that Journey is.
My heart sank when I saw a sub I had never seen before. There were 5 people in the class instead of the usual 25. Obviously the intelligent had thought to check the online App to check the teacher. I was KICKING myself for not doing so, as since I was childless I could have been in Sues 5:45 level 3 class OR her 7:15 level 1 class at SOY. Instead? I was flopping around on the floor with some woman telling me to "journey into my head".
"OH NO!" I was in yoga to journey OUT Of my head! I tried. I honestly truly tried. I tried to have grace. I tried to literally put myself in her shoes (did I mention she was wearing shoes? Water shoes? As she practiced journeying into her head while flopping around on her back with us?). I couldn't do it. And at some point, I hit the wall in my head journey of "I either have to honor myself at this moment or worry about honoring this stranger in water shoes, and I'm choosing me, and my kids, and this next 60 minutes of my life where I could me in my lovely home riding out one hell of a summer storm with my family". I quietly and politely rolled up my mat and tiptoed out of the class.
Have you ever walked out of a yoga class, purely because you hated it/it was mislabeled? (Y.J is labeled an "intermediate" class, one of the few at ACAC. There are technically no "advanced" classes there. What was being taught was beyond gentle. It was bordering on meditation/restorative/or floor chair yoga or something. Yoga Nidra maybe. I don't know. It was terrible. Yoga in water shoes).
Do you think that if you show up, you stay? Thoughts? Yoga as punishment for not checking the teacher
I'm being a control freak about this match (yes, my outfit is laid out, including my lucky ball marker). I know that that is my nature, and it is helpful to be organized as a Mom to three with a lot of balls in the air (ha, balls in the air. Hopefully balls in the hole in par.)……..but today I was trying too hard, I guess. I don't like to admit it, but I guess there is no other explanation when I look at how the day unfolded.
I hope that my "lesson" on acceptance doesn't carry over into tomorrow. My plan is to wake up early and eat a big breakfast after some easy sun salutations and hip openers. Of course, that looks like it may mean that I will oversleep and burn my eggs and run out of gas and show up right at 8:30 in a tizzy. I'm kidding, of course, as I've never overslept for anything in my life as I'm wound too tight……..but the eggs could actually burn.
I hope I didn't hurt that yoga teachers feelings. That wasn't my intention. But there IS something to be said for teaching the class that your students show up to take. If I started teaching power yoga to my people expecting my gentle class…..people would leave? amiright?
Sigh.
Namaste, all.
I call these "death by a thousand papercuts days." Had one last week. On my birthday. All full of plans and preparations and open mind and happy thoughts and getting right back up when the first world problems smack us until finally, $%^@^&ing EFF THIS SHIT, WOULD IT KILL YOU TO MEET ME HALFWAY UNIVERSE?! so, HUGS.
ReplyDeleteI have never walked out of a class - I have had one or two classes where I think, "oh. I am probably going to feel like this was not the best use of my time. dammit." but i've lucked out in never actually having such a situation as what you described. at least you were respectful and didn't cause a ruckus.
I actually thought I might have pissed a lady off so much she left today - but she came back in after about 5 minutes and finished the class. no idea there, but i was calling her out indirectly A LOT. In as friendly a way as possible, but sometimes dammit you are taking it upon yourself to do a completely different pose than what I said and it's not for safety reasons.
how about I hijack your post with my comment? :)
So, in closing, I hope tomorrow you have a great game (dangit, is it called a match or a game?), the kind where you are in the zone and loving it and feeling the sunshine and fresh air and your balls land where you wish them to!!
P.S. I totally snickered about balls in the air, nice one :)
Maybe there was something in the air yesterday because I too had one of those days. Nothing seemed to gel.
ReplyDeleteYoga was not my usual restorative yoga. I walked out frustrated. Part of it is because I am not thrilled with the teacher for this time slot - she almost acts like she doesn't want to be there teaching the 60 minute class and is frustrated that we aren't taking the 90 minute class. She keeps making these comments about how we just don't have time to do two sets of standing bow (and other poses), but we really should. You know what? Other 60 minute teachers give us 2 standing bows, They make changes in other parts to fit that in. Grumble. Wow that just turned into a rant. :) (My frustration may also be because I LOVE standing bow and love working on that pose.)
I would have walked out, but I just don't have any other time in my day when I can get to class, so I can't walk out.
I hope your match/game goes great today!
I am incensed as I have written up TWO huge posts and had them BOTH not post. Testing this again.
ReplyDeleteOf COURSE that nothing one works. Jenn I'm sorry that your birthday went down that way, and I hope that the days after it were much better. Adrianne I'm sorry that you and I were on the same (annoying) page yesterday! I love hearing that standing bow is one of your favorite poses, I need to write a post asking people what some of their favorites are as I love to hear.
ReplyDeleteJenn three weeks ago I had a woman in the very front of my class who was doing her own thing. It was bizarre. It was a vinyasa flow 75 minute class and she was just out there …..like, in pigeon doing these loud dramatic sighs while the rest of the group was 15 minutes into practice doing Sun A's. I gently touched her shoulder and asked if she was okay, and she said "yes, just so tight" with the dramas…..and then continued to sortov do her own thing. I found it SO DISTRACTING. I mean, why come to a class if you are going to do a completely different practice? Its one thing to modify, to go to childs pose, to skip vinyasas, but if you are in twisted dancers while we are doing tree its just kindov….rude, in my opinion. ESPECIALLY if you chose to set up directly in the front of a rectangular room! So weird. Very good for helping me identify and choose to get over my control issues! :)
I have wanted to walk of of class. Last Saturday to be exact. Yoga Basics became Yoga Chaos with the instructor banging off the walls trying to show a good 30 people different positions, etc. with no rhyme or reason/flow. I felt like I was wasting my time. So, I modified and did what I wanted to do (in line with what he was doing minus the chaos). Note to self, skip Peter's Saturday morning Yoga Basics.
ReplyDeleteI have left classes early before when there have been unexpected subs. To be honest, my time is important to me and I'm not going to waste it on something I don't feel is worthwhile. Often, teachers teach every different classes even under the same format. There is an instructor who literally does 4 sets of 20 reps of the exact same strength movement. Oh, and she doesn't count herself, but expects the class to keep track for her. So while you are snoozing through the boring yet painful agony of a zillion shoulder presses, she's asking every few minutes what count we are on. Fail. Nobody's got time for that ish.
ReplyDeleteAs to your comment about people doing their own thing in class...that is the worst! It's so distracting as a student as well. I've been to spin classes where people sit in the front of the class and ride their own ride, not following the prompts or theme. Wouldn't be too terrible, as they are on a bike and in control of their own tension, etc, but then they often get out their phone...what the eff? Just so rude. This is also one of the reasons I haven't yet tried one of the yoga classes that works at a good time for my schedule. It says people work through the poses at their own pace. If I am not going to be working the same poses as others, it seems to me like a "why bother to be in a class?" I would rather sweat on my own mat in my home. (Which is not to say I couldn't learn a lot from a good yoga teacher, just that the format seems like a bad fit for me.)