Resistance to "what is".
I love this article. I need to read this article on a weekly basis, I think. It's not just a guide for when "things get tough", in my mind, its just about how to live your life.
Parenting is so interesting. You want to teach your kids that the world is their oyster, that they can do and be anything. That hard work and honesty and integrity pay off in spades. All of that is true……to a degree. Also true is that life is unfair. That people will hurt you. That sometimes you won't get what you want or what you feel that you deserve. It's such a balancing act. You don't want to crush their little 7 year old hopes and dreams (No, Luke, you never ever will play in both the NFL and the NHL, ever. Give it up)……..but I do want my kids to know early on that life isn't going to always be fair. I do want them to know that they will fail, and that failing is okay, and necessary, and that good things come out of those failures. Growing up, I was so afraid to fail that I never would take on things that I wasn't already good at. Things that didn't come easily or naturally to me never were attempted. I was such a perfectionist that I purposely always chose activities or interests that I could over achieve at, never challenging myself with things that might actually test me. It set me up, of course, for lots of pain and heartache. I wish I had been given permission to fail. I wish I had felt like I had a soft place to land if I had the courage to test my wings. That, ultimately, is what I am trying to create for my kids. Just a soft place to land.
When times are tough, you must be tougher. Don’t pray for an easy life; pray for the strength to endure a tough one that leads to greatness.
- It is your resistance to “what is” that causes your suffering. – Remember, happiness is allowing yourself to be perfectly OK with “what is,” rather than wishing for and worrying about “what is not.” “What is” is what’s supposed to be, or it would not be. The rest is just you, arguing with life. Think about that for a minute. This means your suffering only ever occurs when you resist how things are. You cannot control everything that happens to you; you can only control the way you respond to what happens. In your response is your power.
Isn't this incredibly, ridiculously, true? Its so simple, so plain, so clear, and so, so true. I'm actually finding myself getting better at this the deeper I get into my meditation and yoga practice. My nature has always been to react, rather than respond. I'm working on that. Actively, intentionally working on that. I'm far from perfect, and my body and mind tends to go immediately into "LETS PANIC!" mode when I see change or potential trouble on the horizon (or even have plans change last minute), but I'm really actively trying to sit for a moment before I respond.
Parenting is so interesting. You want to teach your kids that the world is their oyster, that they can do and be anything. That hard work and honesty and integrity pay off in spades. All of that is true……to a degree. Also true is that life is unfair. That people will hurt you. That sometimes you won't get what you want or what you feel that you deserve. It's such a balancing act. You don't want to crush their little 7 year old hopes and dreams (No, Luke, you never ever will play in both the NFL and the NHL, ever. Give it up)……..but I do want my kids to know early on that life isn't going to always be fair. I do want them to know that they will fail, and that failing is okay, and necessary, and that good things come out of those failures. Growing up, I was so afraid to fail that I never would take on things that I wasn't already good at. Things that didn't come easily or naturally to me never were attempted. I was such a perfectionist that I purposely always chose activities or interests that I could over achieve at, never challenging myself with things that might actually test me. It set me up, of course, for lots of pain and heartache. I wish I had been given permission to fail. I wish I had felt like I had a soft place to land if I had the courage to test my wings. That, ultimately, is what I am trying to create for my kids. Just a soft place to land.
When times are tough, you must be tougher. Don’t pray for an easy life; pray for the strength to endure a tough one that leads to greatness.
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