Yoga Bodies.
A snippet.
When our time comes and our physical bodies die, do we want to look back and realize we lived our lives trying to change to please others? Or do we come to a point and realize that we are perfect now, we will never be here again and in that moment, we are more beautiful and no one…let me say that again, no one, can steal or snuff out our light.
So just as I am standing in that picture, in a bathing suit with everything showing, I can say that I think I look pretty good.
Can you look at yourself today and say, “Damn, I love you self, I have never met anyone like you. You are exciting, fun, happy, and I truly see you, how honored I am to know myself.”
It does exist, this "ideal" of the yoga body. I've had Sue tell me that Crossfit is the place for me to get hired to teach yoga because I look "dead fit" and that will appeal to them. I've had someone approach me this week asking me to teach at a new specialty athletic conditioning center that she is opening for teens ~ because "I look the part". She has no idea if I am a good yoga teacher, no idea. I've been told to market myself to new Mom's because I have kids and can appeal to their desire to get their pre kid body back ~ in other words, teach them how to look like me through yoga. I heard a teacher in my teacher training program say "Its a shame that she doesn't take better care of herself, she is going to have a hard time getting hired at any gym"……about someone who appeared to take really great care of herself, someone who was a deeply critical thinker, a kind soul, wise and older than her years…..but wasn't stereotypically skinny or lean. And the fact of the matter is, MOST yoga teachers start out teaching in gyms. This is a problem, and it is REAL. It isn't just my imagination that this discrimination exists. Some of the best teachers that I have personally encountered were older, softer, had "normal" looking bodies. They had been practicing yoga for 30, 40 years, teaching for as long sometimes, and had incredible knowledge to pass along. Yet, because I have a certain body type it would be easier for me to walk into a gym and get hired. Isn't that crazy? I don't know how to combat this. I don't know how to pretend that this isn't real, when it is. I try to never ever draw attention to my body when I teach. I wear loose cotton yoga pants, I wear loose shirts. I never, ever want to make other people feel self conscious about THEIR bodies because of my body. I was taught the same thing in relation to practice ~ I am not there to demonstrate my yoga prowess ~ when I'm demonstrating balance poses I am offering modifications, blocks, I am always in the easiest version of the pose, right there with the person who is the least experienced or least stable in the class. My job is to empower and encourage my students, NOT to make them feel self conscious, NOT to make them admire my body, my practice, or anything about me other than my ability to help them, my humility, my ability to individually guide them through a practice. To really SEE them. Thats all. My heart goes out to this yoga teacher who had to hear such cutting and horrible words. I admire her response. Like her, I know that my body is simply a tool to get me from point A to point B. It was an amazing vessel to give me the gift of my three children. It allows me to see the world. It allows me to pursue my passions. It helps me comfort my children in my arms. To love my husband. To cook, to read, to love, to feel, to learn. Its going to age, its going to ultimately die. If my BODY were the only definition of my worth, my pride, my sense of self, how lonely, how sad, how shallow would that be. My light can shine, because 20 years ago I had the courage to stand up and say that this existence, this dismal existence of being a slave to the smallness and the competition and the mania of an eating disorder is snuffing out my light. It was killing my interests, it was killing my ability to live a life full of love.
I have a couple of new women in one of my classes who appear to have eating disorders. It hurts me. I have this desire to just gently put my hand on their tense, brittle backs, to just send them some healing energy. This week my classes have been all centered around the story of the lotus flower. My theme has been rooting down through your feet, while opening up through your heart. I've focused a lot on feeling connected to the earth, grounding down through the four corners of the feet, and doing lots of new twists in all positions, supine, on all fours, kneeling, and standing ~ grounding down like the lotus does in the mud, the muck, while opening the heart to the light, unfurling the delicate petals of the heart just like the lotus unfurls her delicate petals to the light of the sun, clean and pure and mud free. I've ended each class this week with this quote:
"The lotus is the most beautiful flower, whose petals open one by one. But it will only grow in the mud. In order to grow and gain wisdom, first you must have the mud - the obstacles of life and its suffering…..the mud speaks of the common ground that humans share, no matter what our stations in life…..whether we have it all or we have nothing, we are all faced with the same obstacles; sadness, loss, illness, dying and death. If we are to strive as human beings to gain more wisdom, more kindness and more compassion, we must have the intention to grow as a lotus and open each petal one by one".
I've really loved this theme this week. Next week? Body image. Subtly, of course. I need to find a story, then build my classes around that.
Yesterday Jyoti came to my 8 am Vinyasa 75 minute class. It was so much fun having a fellow teacher and friend there and I treasured her feedback! She also brought me some new oil for my morning skin brushing and massage ~ Jyoti is originally from India and her family has an Ayurvedic products company. The new oil is wonderful and I much prefer it to the coconut oil I had been using! I found out that I am teaching Julia's team ~ so 6 year old girls!!! I'm really excited (and relieved, I admit to hoping that I would get a team of girls as they are simply easier at this age!). I found out the kids teachers today and its two weeks today till the start of school. Yesterday was a perfect day of teaching 2 classes, playing a great 18 holes with Nate and Ginny and Jeff, sitting outside at the club afterwards, and then a huge pasta and fresh Carlino's sausage dinner with a garden caprese. Our herbs are out of control and its a pleasure eating such fresh produce. My 12:30 class was very small today, the Y was just dead. We are poolside now before I teach at crossfit at 5:15….then home for frittatas with all garden produce! I think that its going to be a great week, goal is to be outside as much as possible, soaking up all that is summer, breathing this beautiful warm air as deeply into my lungs a I can before the chill of winter is upon us…………………
Have you ever seen someone who was overweight and thought that they might not be a good teacher because of their weight (in yoga or anything?)
Do you assume that yoga teachers (or any fitness professional) *should* look a certain way?
I find it refreshing to see all different body types doing yoga - teaching or practicing. I find it refreshing to have a teacher say "This pose is difficult for me" or "My bad knee limits my ability to do this pose and this is how I modify". My studio owner was ripped when she started the studio, but has softened up a bit in the last 1+ I have been practicing. She's still the same teacher.
ReplyDeleteI am not at yoga to get fit. It is a side benefit (I dropped a dress size when I started just from all the toning up yoga provided), but I practice yoga to keep me strong, to keep me centered, and because it is fun. My practice isn't dictated by how my teacher looks. Maybe that's because I am not your "typical" yoga body type?
I hear you ~ I feel like my hip injury has been a blessing in that it gives me a great way to relate to students, particularly my elderly ones in my gentle yoga classes! Its nice to see and know that your teachers are always still learning, still have tight parts or poses that challenge them, I agree. You know, the more I teach the more I realize that there really isn't a "typical" yoga body type (in the real world, not in instagram/thinly veiled "thinspo" photos, which yes, mostly seem to feature one body type.) Its nice to know that the true "typical" student tends to be representative of the "typical" american, at least around here. Its a cross section, depending on the class, of course. My gentle yoga classes look different than the warm 75 min power flow classes, but there is still an impressive array of body types. One of the most amazing yogis that I practice with is a 72 year old man ~ his inversions and ashtanga practice are literally mind blowing ~ and he's a 72 year old businessman! Thanks for sharing your thoughts :)
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's different because I'm in the midwest and people are statistically heavier. But our gym seems to have a huge variety of body types from working out on the floor, to zumba, yoga and weight classes. I never had a bias going into a yoga class, but I think that's because I assume everyone is more flexible than I am regardless of body type. Ha! Going into strength classes was a different experience however. I will say there have a been a few different instructors who I've wondered about when they first walked into class...older women, softer-looking bodies. But those ladies? All kicked asses and took names. I hope I am half as fit in a few decades. Hell, I should be that fit now! ;)
ReplyDeleteI was pondering this a little more last night. I understand that places like CrossFit studios are selling a brand and a certain image, so I can see them expecting their teachers (CrossFit, yoga or whatever other class is offered) to project that image. I am not saying I agree with it, but I can see it. Maybe I am making generalizations about CrossFit people (based on my impressions of the few I have met), but I bet they would expect a fit teacher and if you want those folks to try out yoga, you need to make sure that you fit their image of a yoga teacher. It isn't a perfect system, but I think the world could always use more people doing yoga. :)
ReplyDeleteIf I were to be at a studio or even say the YMCA, I would hope to see a larger variety of instructors simply because they serve a larger cross-section of the population.
I remember very clearly when I first started practicing, one of the teachers I became very close to and practiced often with, was curvy. She had a tush, had some fullness in her thighs. But she looked HEALTHY, vibrant. And this woman introduced me to a very challenging practice. It was like a lightbulb came on, that one could have a vigorous practice and be very open without having protruding ribs. It was inspirational to me at the time. Since kids, my body has changed significantly, and like you, I lean towards being hyper aware of what message my body sends to my students. Recently I had a dedicated student struggling a bit with shoulderstand. I spoke with her and she laughed and said she felt like she couldn't breathe. I laughed with her and said, "oooh, yes. I used to have boobs. I remember that!" She was shocked, but I feel like her perspective towards me shifted a bit.
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