Meditation on the beauty of life.

New life, new beginnings. I played golf with my Dad yesterday, and we spent the rest of the day with my Mom and children (Nate was playing in the Member/Member at CVGC). I thought a lot about how it is to be a daughter and a mother at the same time. It reminds me a little bit of how it is to be both a teacher and a student.

“If you teach yoga or hold space for others in any way, it is vital that you have a space that someone else is holding for you – a space where you get vulnerable and are seen; a space where you are held accountable and get nurtured in a compassionate way; a space where you can shed the teacher role and receive.”

~ Hala Khouri, Founder of Off the Mat and Into the World

I benefit so much from the experience of being parented (STILL! At 39!) I benefit so much from seeing my parents 41 years of marriage and the collective wisdom that they have to offer. My kids  benefit from both ~ little sponges soaking in all of their love towards me, towards them, towards one another. Yoga is much the same. When my own personal practice is lacking, when I am not on my mat daily, my teaching suffers. My creativity, my passion, all suffer. This week I have practiced daily, and will practice again today. Having practiced yoga for 20 years now but only taught for…..6? 5? months now one of my favorite parts of teaching is watching students open up. Watching them settle into their breath. Watching their faces soften, their breathing deepen, their bodies still at the beginning of a practice. I love feeling the energy of different bodies, different people come together as the class starts to move as one, and I love feeling and seeing bodies working through poses. It is such an honor to witness a class from the other side of the mat, and it makes my own personal practice deepen in a way that I can't describe. I think that parenting is a little like that. Sometimes, now that I am a parent, I look at my own kids and I then look at my parents and the whole thing just awes me. They love me like I love my kids. I know how my kids love me because I know how I love my parents. 

So many patterns in life, so much repetition. I feel so lucky to have good role models, in both yoga and in parenting and marriage. One thing that is really really suffering right now is my relationship with Sue. Due to the kids being out of school I'm really having a hard time getting to her classes, and its difficult for me. She is my mentor, my teacher. Adriana and Chris are my two other teachers, and I look to them as mentors, but they are nothing like sue to me. I'm missing being actively studying yoga, and I'm thinking about enrolling in some sort of program, somewhere, to continue to study directly under or with someone. I need that sort of focus and direction and I long to deepen my understanding of so many things. 

This video set my intention for the day. The contentment, the peacefulness, the acceptance. The simple softness and the way that this baby naturally yields to the water, to the sensations that are happening to and around its body are so amazing. I can't wait to attend Janice's 90 minute vinyasa class this morning, to get back a little bit of that feeling that I felt yesterday, to just dip my toe into that peaceful floating feeling. I then get to try to share that feeling with my students several times tomorrow morning. What a wonderful thing! 

Om shanti shanti shanti.