Plan B

I read this before my yoga class this morning and thought of it during my practice. Life is a gift, and at times, when I feel stuck in this miasma of Nate's school and where I find myself constantly focusing on him being done a year from now.......I am allowing a tragedy to happen. I have this GIFT, this glorious gift of life, the freedom to do what I please with my days, the encouragement and support (if from afar) of my husband, the best friends I could ask for........and I'm a wee bit stuck in a place of self pity. I know that this trip is the worst of it ~ school had two big hard things, the first whole week away, and this trip. I've known about them. And here I am done one, and half way through the other, and I need to remember that I LOATHE those who put off happiness today because of some imagined future.....some future in which they will be skinnier, or fitter, or wealthier. And here I am doing it, just a little bit, fixating on being a whole, coparenting, family unit again with tons more time together, instead of enjoying the beauty of being right where I am.

Right here is good, its really good. I'm learning lifelong lessons out of this challenge, and it has brought Nate and I even closer than I could have imagined. It has made me long for my kids in new ways, their cuddles bring me a more intense sort of joy when I am missing the physical presence of my husband. I am going to be closer to them because of the intensity of this time together. Our family has never felt like more of a team.....all pulling in the same direction and for a common goal.

So. Today I choose NOT to feel self pity, but to revel in the glorious uniqueness of our situation. Thank you, yoga practice, for shedding light on my need to move right back into the present moment, and get my mind out of the future.

I'm having a heck of a time figuring out when to squeeze in a run this week ~ I'd like to get one 7-8 mile jog in as I have that insane 12 mile race this weekend so I am essentially in a perma taper at the moment. Looking forward to getting back to a normal running patters, three races in three weekends is unusual for me. Namaste, yo.