Moms: Are you awed?

Do you ever feel absolutely awed at what the human body can do? That it can grow and shrink and grow and shrink again? That it can make, nurture, and then feed people? I mean, what is a little jog compared to any of that amazing work?

I always knew I wanted to be a Mom. I was a doula and massage therapist specializing in pregnancy and labor massage in my early 20's. I was one of those birth junkie people, and was blessed to be able to attend 23 births. I always wanted to stay at home with my kids as well, and was fortunate to meet a man who shared that dream. Mother hood has exceeded my expectations in every single way. It has challenged me to understand what I believe and what I stand for in new way. It has been both way easier and way more challenging than I ever expected. I didn't know how much it could hurt to love kids ~ how scary it is to worry that something could happen to them at any given moment. I didn't know that it would deepen and grow my relationship with my husband in ways that simply awe me. I didn't know how easily one could overcomplicate the whole gig, and I didn't know how lucky I would be in getting extremely easy kids. They have truly been what made this such an enjoyable adventure for me: truth is I have easy kids. I know that the teenage years could bring trials and pain beyond my wildest imagination......but for now, this is pretty easy.

I find myself incredibly nostalgic this morning: this was the day that I went into labor with my first born, 5 short years ago. He was born in the midst of a snowstorm and frigid temps, and as I look out my windows this morning all I see is blowy snow and pure cold. It is 17 out. I'm trying out my first true cold weather run this afternoon, and I intend to think about my Luke the entire way. I plan to remember his birth, to remember what an easy and sweet and joyful little boy he is. I plan to think about ways that I can be more of what he needs, ways I can nurture him even better and embrace and encourage his kind heart and his athletic little body. I plan to run and talk to myself about how I can be even more patient with him. Just as one sets an intention in their yoga practice, I have started setting intentions in my runs. It truly turns running into a form of a prayer or a meditation.

Motherhood has taught me in entirely new ways how powerful and how forgiving my body is. I was so worried that my eating disorder from so many years ago could have affected my fertility, and was lucky to have no problems in that department. I was worried that getting big could trigger old feelings about weight, but was thrilled to find that the bigger and rounder I got, the more beautiful and womanly I felt. I was lucky to find that the weight came right off, too. I swear that it is pregnancy and motherhood that taught me how much I have to be grateful for when it comes to my body ~ that I OWE it to this body to give it what it needs ~ fresh air, exercise, whole foods. It gave me my sweet babies, I owe it a tremendous debt and I intend to pay it. Has pregnancy changed how you view your body? In good ways? Bad ways? Both?

Big news: EMS is having a HUGE winter sale. Get there. I got some incredible long sleeve tech shirts and a great fleece vest (which I intend to pair with said tech shirts for my tundra run today). If you need any performance wear or winter coats, get there. The deals are amazing.

Kettlebells this morning with Nate and a run this afternoon. I'd have to say, well, I'll just let Ice Cube say it. Happy birthday eve to my Luke.