Chasing.

Today my own anxiety was chasing me up hills. I have too much on my plate right now, between trying to leave for the shore, plan a party, plan Easter, stick to some sort of training schedule, and attend what feels like 30thousand birthday parties while parenting relatively solo. Oh, and a curve ball or two gets thrown in every now and then, like happened to me this morning with my precious daughter and a (well intentioned) person telling her something very, very much not in line with our religious values. To say the least, I ran three ANGRY miles on the treadmill to finish off my morning run (which I had to cut short to get home before the kids woke up).

Following your dreams just gets you no where. You can follow them right to the next load of laundry, or the next required school parent activity. You can follow them right into the muck of guilt, or remorse, or fear of being fierce or of standing up for yourself. And then, one day, you are going to be standing in the middle of a mundane existence, wondering, where the hell did those dreams go? DON"T FOLLOW. Chase. Fight for what you want. And be willing to hurt for it.

8.5 and a bodybar class today. Dragging three kids to party city to prepare for Julia's party on Saturday. I chased what I needed to this morning, I know where I'm going, and I have a damn good plan for getting me there. I refuse to follow anyone or anything which does not make me a better person, both in the details and in the large picture. Refuse.